When I first started my blog, I received a Book Face message from an elementary school friend, out of the blue. She was always a sweet girl when we were kids, but we have only been in touch occasionally since then. In August, her note gave me goosebumps (aka I desperately wanted it to be true), but we know how that turned out.
So, today I stumbled out of bed and checked email. This is what I found:
Hi HRF,
So I have a random thing to tell you. I know I wrote to
tell you I had dreamed you told me you were pregnant a while back. I
think I mentioned to you that when that happens it always surprises me
to learn that it's true. You shared you had done a procedure and I hoped
to hear that it had been successful.
Well, last night I had a
dream I was your surrogate. Totally random, I know. I mean, my dreams
are really irrelevant and one should pay no attention to them, but I
felt I should tell you if only to say that your baby is in my thoughts.
Just know there is one more person out there sending massive amounts of
good thoughts and well wishes for you. From what I see on Facebook
alone you and your husband are a wonderful couple and adorable. I'll be
so happy for you both when you get to wherever this journey is taking
you.
All the best,
Old Friend
I don't know how to feel about this. Her note is so kind and thoughtful. But, it makes me both hopeful and sad at the same time. Why did her dream switch from me being pregnant to her being a surrogate? Does her dream mean I'll be successful, or that I'll need a surrogate?
Or, maybe it means absolutely nothing. His Royal Fabulousness dismissed the last dream, and I probably should dismiss this one. Right?
Remember that time I had the dream about riding dolphins to a restaurant? Dreams don't always mean anything. Take what is comforting and leave the rest. I was so superstitious during my first IVF, trying to go to the right clinic for my blood draw, listening to certain songs on my iPod, and when it failed, it was almost freeing, in a way, to understand finally that nothing I did had any control over the outcome. Positive thinking is great if only to make you not go batshit crazy during the mindfucking process of ART, but don't get too hung up on what seem like bad omens. It's science, and even they don't know why an embryo decides to implant or not. Also, get really drunk on vacay.
ReplyDeleteTake the good and throw out the rest. One comforting thing is that you now have another person out there who is doing what they can to carry this burden with you. Don't discount how much that means.
ReplyDeleteWho knows what dreams mean. I wouldn't read too much into it.
ReplyDeleteMy cousin over in Ohio offered to be my surrogate after she delivers her new baby (in 8 months!). It was a wonderful offer and she is so sweet, but I don't think she understands what that means and how hard it would be.
I think you will have your own baby. We all will.
Don't read into it too much. Remember, dreams are our subconscious's way of processing. I think ADSchill hit the nail on the head with her not understanding what exactly her offer means. Run with the good. And hold onto hope. There will be a happy ending
ReplyDeleteOh hun - if you give dreams any clout, that must be hard! I really don't think it means anything, but I can only imagine your thoughts. In the summer, I had a dream my friend was pregnant. In the same dream, I dreamt I had an ultrasound and I was 37.5 weeks pregnant. When I was telling my friend about the dream, her jaw hit the floor. She was pregnant (8 wks) and hadn't told anyone. I then thought my dream for myself was going to come true too. Well it didn't. I was devastated. I know how powerful dreams can be but in the end, I think they are just that - dreams.
ReplyDeleteI think it is a really sweet thing (maybe she wants to be your surrogate? Hold on to that, and if not, I'll take her!) Dismiss it, but hold on to the thought that she is thinking about you.
ReplyDeleteEerie! I'm a total sucker for dreams though. But I also know the reality that dreams are often just a reflection of things going on in our lives. It is sweet that she was thinking about you enough to have a dream about that. Hopefully the dream just means that you will be successful.
ReplyDeleteI'm with Rachael on this one: it may be her way of letting you know that she would be happy to share in your reproductive journey. Praying that it's not needed!
ReplyDeleteDreams are just that...dreams. Thank goodness, otherwise I'd be abducted by aliens and my brother would have secret adult children who were serial killers. If someone's dreams comfort you, then take them. If not...then just let them go.
ReplyDeleteI think it just means she was thinking of you and wants to be able to help, and her dream transformed that help in the form of surrogacy. Either way, it's a pretty wonderful dream.
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