Sunday, December 25, 2011

"And how is it going with the baby?"

Aruba was amazing. We ate, drank, saw the island, and generally had an amazing time. It rained a bit, which bummed us out, but overall it was beautiful. We loved the friendly people, the ease of getting around, and the gorgeous waters. The only regret was actually scheduling too much, and not leaving enough time to just lay. The entire week, we said to each other that this will be the first of many trips to Aruba, and are currently scheming about how quickly we can return. The goal is March of 2013. Here are a few pictures to give you a sense of why we fell in love with the island:
The most lethal rum drink ever, the Happy Island

view from our balcony


view from our dinner on the beach

However, as an IFer, Aruba was a bit bittersweet. We started counting how many pregnant women we saw at the resort and on the island, and we lost count around 20 or so. It was unbelievable! Seriously, this was babymoon central. I could only take pleasure in pounding cocktails and hoping I would soon return in a similar state.

Additionally, my worst nightmare happened. I was at the pool (granted, in an oversized swimsuit cover-up) when a hotel staff member asked me, in the sweetest way, "And how is it going with the baby?" I understood why he asked. I mean, EVERY WOMAN around me was expecting. But, you know how it goes. The question essentially made me feel like a fat cow, and I was crestfallen. I just said, "I'm not pregnant, but every other woman here is." He smiled and apologized, then quickly left. I mean, he could at least have given me another Rum Runner!

One interesting little interaction was with a woman on our snorkeling and sailing excursion. At first, I rolled my eyes because she obviously knew the owners of the vessel and was going on and on about her children, in nauseating detail. Seriously, she even talked about how small her babies are when they are born. But, then I overheard her talking about the details of IVF and I realized she was one of us. I took the opportunity to tell her that I was so glad she had success, and that I am starting my first IVF cycle in a few weeks. She happily told me about her process, and I came away feeling hopeful.

You just never know who will be in your boat.


  1. Aruba looks great - I'm really jealous of your trip now (not the being surrounded by pregnant women, part)!
    Glad you had a great vacation. And I think it's great that the "boat lady" was so open about her IVF (my boss is the same, we'll probably visit him and his wife for dinner in January for a little pre-IVF info talk.They had 3 three IVF rounds, the third resulted in twin girls).

  2. You trip looks amazing! I especially love the photo of you and His Royal Fabulousness at the Sand bar.

    I'm glad you were able to turn an otherwise annoying situation into a positive one. It seems almost universal that people are more than happy to share with you their experience with infertility; they just need to be given the chance.

    IMHO: I think the pool guy is habituated to asking women about pregnancy. Baby talk = extra big tip. Still, what a bummer.

  3. Welcome back!! What a crazy coincidence about the woman who went through a successful IVF! I am not a huge believer in signs, but...this story was really cool. Let's finish this year with a bang, and kick ass in 2012. xoxo

  4. That trip looks amazing! And the drink amazinger. Welcome back!

  5. So sorry your amazing get away from everything baby turned into a constant reminder of what you can't have. Glad you were able to engage in lethal rum drinks to help you forget! Still wishing I could have had your trip though! I want to sit on a beach so badly!

  6. Aruba pictures=amazing. Wow, makes me wanna add that to the list of Must Do. Good luck with your first IVF. ICLW #23

  7. Minus that comment it sounds like you had a great time. Tropical islands are the best. Makes me want to travel :)

    As a mom via egg donation...I find myself talking about DS A LOT. We are just so excited about our little miracles and we want to share them with everyone.

    Good Luck with your first IVF!

  8. It's so true, you never know who is in the same boat.

    Aruba is awesome. My husband and I went there on our honeymoon and I am aching to go back. GL with IVF. Glad I found your blog through ICLW!

  9. Merry Christmas! Just visiting from ICLW. I decided this year that if we still are childless next Christmas (which hopefully we aren't), we will do a fun trip away. The holidays at home are so family-focused and without a family it becomes pretty tough.

  10. Those tropical islands are just the best escape. I have done a few of those trips myself.
    I was sad to hear that so many women were pregnant on this trip. I never would have thought! I guess that's because I am so freaked out that something will go wrong in my pregnancy that I couldn't imagine being in another time zone from my medical team.

    I was relieved to hear you were able to bond with another IFer. What are the odds?

    It looked amazing. Wish I could have been there with you.

  11. Always keeping hope is part of our mantra I swear. I'm hoping that all of us infertiles have the best year yet with BFPs all around. Good luck!

  12. That vacation sounds amazing. I never would have thought about how many people might be on a babymoon. Ouch. Hope you still had fun!
    Happy ICLW!

  13. I'm so glad you had such a great vacation. The islands are my favorite place to go! I am usually quick to judge (though I wish I wasn't) and often find myself getting angry at pregnant women, or new moms who are complaining. But then I wonder how many of them also went through what we are? You never know.

  14. Your vacation looks fabulous! My husband and I are dreaming of a tropical beach vacation this winter, and Aruba is on our list. I would love to hear more about where you stayed, and if you think it's worth going back to.

  15. Jen - ABSOLUTELY. Go there, now. :) I linked to the hotel in the post (Bucuti and Tara Resort), which is perfect for couples looking for peace and quiet, away from the high rises. It is adult only too. Aruba is amazing and I will be going back as soon as it is financially possible.

  16. Oh, the pictures are sensational!!!

    I am glad you enjoyed the trip so much.

    I am sorry for the pinching that the hotel staff caused, and glad for the lady you met on the excursion.

    I read your TTC journey, and came to know that you are up for a IVF cycle next. All the very best to you for that.

    I love how your blog looks - it is fresh and peppy and yet easy on the eyes.

  17. So true! I've been to Aruba twice. The first time was on my honeymoon! I wish you all the best with this IVF! May 2012 be your year! I am having a giveaway you may be interested in, come check it out!

  18. So glad you had such a great trip (outside of all the reminders).

    I would have definitely thrown a punch at the hotel staff member. Lol.

    Beautiful pics, thank you for sharing!

  19. Aruba looks amazing! What a relaxing way to kick off IVF!

    Also - neat that what started out as another annoying pregnancy reminder turned into a great inspiring IVF success story!

  20. Lovely pictures! Thanks for sharing the pictures and the little story about meeting another IVFer. We truly can't know what another goes through until they tell us.

  21. Just gorgeous! Welcome back home. I actually tried to write out a comment a few days ago and lost it after I tried to post.

    That's how my hubby and I feel about the Cook Islands, we always planned to go back for our 5 year anniversary, but I don't think I can go back without having a little one first. I'd always imagined leaving our toddler with our parents and taking off. It'd be too sad after 2 years of infertility since we were so hopeful and young when we went the first time.

    I'm glad you decided to show yourself, what a cute couple you guys are! If I were there, I'd have picked you guys out of a crowd to hang out with. :)

  22. Your trip sounds lovely (for the most part)! Sorry the hotel staff member failed to grasp the situation. Six years ago right after The Hubs and I moved back to the States from England, I had a similar experience when a former schoolmate wished me congratulations on my pregnancy. I had to explain to her that I was not pregnant, just fat.

    Wonderful that you had an opportunity to meet someone who had trodden a similar path to yours! Definitely something to give you hope!

    ICLW #60

  23. Lanie - LOL We are pretty awesome. :) Isn't DH a cutiepie?

    Thanks for all the kind comments! Still missing the sunshine...

  24. Gorgeous photos! Glad you had a great trip!

  25. What a lovely vacation! Merry Christmas.
    Sorry about being surrounded by preggo women and how awful about that guy. It has happened to me as well. I have learned not to wear certain clothes. Now I am actually pregnant for real I can wear them at last.
    And I am so glad you did meet that lady that went through IVF. I guess it made the rest bearable.

  26. I'm late to this post but I was in Aruba over Christmas too really close by the Bucuti! I would have comiserated with you.


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