Tuesday, January 31, 2012

spoke too soon

You know it is bad when your RE calls you herself.

0.

Zip.

None.

That's how many of my 23 eggs fertilized.

Even more frustrating? 19 of my eggs and KG's sperm all looked perfect. They have no explanation.

I can't remember some of what she said because I was so stunned. What I do remember is that she said next time, we would do ICSI.

Utter despair.


41 comments:

  1. OMG... are they not trying to do ICSI on them now? I have heard of them trying ICSI the next day... after they haven't fertilized naturally.

    Big hugs to you. So sorry this is happening. :(

    ReplyDelete
  2. I am so sorry. This is so frustrating after all the shots, pain, discomfort you had to endure. Okay I want to scream in frustration for you.

    Good question though...did they do ICSI on them to begin with or natural? We had no choice due to the age of my eggs but to do ICSI.

    ReplyDelete
  3. OMG WHAT??? :( So sorry you're going through this... hope you get a chance to do something nice for yourselves.

    ReplyDelete
  4. So so so s sorry....I can't imagine your hurt right now. Unimaginable.....go have a stiff drink! Xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  5. Wow - that sucks and is horribly unfair. I thought it was standard for most clinics to do ICSI on at least some of the eggs?

    I am so incredibly sorry for you. It hurts to go through everything you have only to hear this news at retrieval. I think it is great that you know you have wonderful eggs and sperm though - hoping that with some ICSI next time all of your awesome eggs will fertilize!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Such devasting news! I too thought that most clinics recommend doing ICSi just to make sure this doesn't happen. Soc incredibly sorry to hear this.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Oh my gosh - I am so, so sorry to hear this. You will survive to fight again another day, but for now, take the time you need to recover. Be well.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Wow, that's so terrible. I am really sorry.

    ReplyDelete
  9. So sorry. What incredibly difficult news. A veteran myself in the IVF world, but that is truly so hard.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Shit. Shit, shit, shit. I'm so sorry for this terrible news. This is completely unfair. If I was within driving range, I would be stealing you from work. Instead, I'm sending you so much love.

    ReplyDelete
  11. OMG I'm so sorry :( But don't let this discourage you. Keep fighting for your dream.

    ReplyDelete
  12. This is just awful!! I am so sorry you have to go through this after all you have done to have this happen. Thinking of you

    ReplyDelete
  13. Oh, no. I am SO, so sorry. I cannot believe you have gone through all of this to come out with zero. Just can't believe it. So upset for you. I'm thinking of you.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I am so, so sorry. This sucks.
    Thinking of you and sending you hugs!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Well it's a first I've ever heard of this. None? Did they do anything wrong? It's almost unbelievable.. My friend had the lab lose her good emby when she was on her way to the transfer. It was their fault and she got free IVF till they got her to the same point again. I'd question their process.

    I'm very very sorry. We are here to pick you up off the floor and hold you up to give you strength. Strength in numbers..xx

    ReplyDelete
  16. I've been reading your blog for a little while now, but have been hiding (i.e. not commenting). I just wanted to let you know that your blog has been so helpful to me, and that I'm just so sorry for your struggle. It is terrible news, and I can only imagine what you are going through. I'm not sure there is much comfort to be found today, but I hope you find it whenever, wherever you can.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Your blog speaks to me on many levels and I've been reading along with you through this journey. I am in shock and so incredibly sorry to hear the news. My thoughts are with you.

    ReplyDelete
  18. This is so shocking, there are just no words? I'm scratching my head like some of the other commenters wondering did they do something wrong? Why did they not do ICSI in the first place? Have they mentioned perhaps doing CGH on your embryos to determine the exact issue? I'm so sorry. I'll certainly be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers and hope that you get some answers.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Oh my god. I am so so so sorry. I hate this. I take it there is nothing they can do? I have heard of some fertilizing later....I wish I had something good to say. :(

    ReplyDelete
  20. I am so incredibly sorry. You must be devastated. I'm so so so heartbroken, it's not fair at all. I wish I could give you a hug... hope you're getting some support right now. xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  21. Oh God sweetie. I am SOOOO sorry. That is incredibly unbelievable. Why wouldn't they have called you as soon as they realized they weren't fertilizing and ICSI'ed them then and there?
    I am shocked and so very sad. I can't believe it.
    I wish I could say something...take care of yourself today and keep writing. We are here.
    MissC

    ReplyDelete
  22. Oh. My lord. I am so incredibly sorry. That is unreal. A little peculiar. I , like the other girls commenting here am in disbelief. I really really hope you can pick up the pieces
    of your broken heart and try again... because 23 is really great. Please keep us updated especially at the WTF aapt. This is a serious WTF!?!?!? Have faith in your body and your eggs. It does sound like an issue with the embryologist, not you. :( i wish i knew you irl so i could comfort you properly. And that would include much wine.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Oh my god, I am so so sorry. I can't imagine how you are feeling right now. I don't even know what to say. I am just so so sorry.

    ReplyDelete
  24. You're kidding me, right?

    This seriously has me teary-eyed.
    I thought my situation was shitty but yours totally blows.

    I just want to hug you. :(

    ReplyDelete
  25. I'm in total shock. I cannot imagine the devastation. You know how much I love you and want this for you. My thoughts are with you, along with oodles of hugs. It just doesn't make any sense.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Heartbroken for you! I feels so unbelievable. Literally, unbelievable. So so sorry.

    ReplyDelete
  27. I am so sorry for your news. That must have been a heartbreaking conversation.

    ReplyDelete
  28. I have been trying to comment all day. I am so sorry for your news. Oh my heart is breaking for you. There is nothing I can say to help. But know we are all here for you. xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

    ReplyDelete
  29. This totally blows. I am so sorry.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Like others have said: I have been trying to comment since you put up this post, and I have no idea what to say. I'm completely shocked, and I don't have a clue what you must be going through. But I DO know that you are an INCREDIBLY strong woman and you will find a way to channel all of the positive energy everyone is sending to you right now, pick yourself up, and charge forward. I KNOW that this will happen for you.

    In the meantime, I think you deserve to get TOTALLY schnockered in the near future. (Tonight, Friday, both...)

    And we're all sending you virtual hugs. Try to hang in there.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. P.S. In my brain, there are LOTS of expletives in the above post, but I filtered them. I am PISSED for you right now. This SUCKS!

      Delete
  31. Oh hon... I am so, so sorry... I wish things had turned out differently for you. Big hugs and lots of love in getting through this.

    ReplyDelete
  32. I am so sorry to hear this. Why do they bring up what they could have done and save it for "next time"? If there's things they can do, why don't they do it? I'm so sorry.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Just wanted to say how sorry I am, that is truly devastating.

    ReplyDelete
  34. I didn't even know this was possible. :( I am so sorry and very much hope you can get some answers soon.

    ReplyDelete
  35. I'm so sorry! Hope that ICSI will bring amazing results next time! And that you find comfort and hope during this time.

    ReplyDelete
  36. I was totally and utterly heartbroken to read your post this morning. I am so dreadfully sorry that this has happened. I really hope that the clinic can give you some sort of explanation for this. My prayers are with you honey. xxx

    ReplyDelete
  37. I'm so sorry for your pain! I was in the same situation a year ago, none of my eggs fertilized after IVF. But with ICSI it was a totally different story. I am still not pregnant, had an ectopic pregnancy a few months ago, but with some nice embryos in the freezer. So don't let this discourage you. ICSI can be the answer. Goodluck!

    ReplyDelete

Shout it, shout it, shout it out loud!