Saturday, January 21, 2012

Everything's Coming Up Millhouse

3 particularly nice things have happened in the last 24 hours. In the spirit of being more positive, I thought I would focus on those instead of the things that made me want to put my forehead through the wall.

1. At my blood draw (results to come later this afternoon) and dildocam today, the technician was extra patient (working around gas bubbles and my slow bowels - yup, I said it) and was able to find both my ovaries internally. This calmed some of my fears about them not being able to retrieve from  my left side. Nothing measurable yet, but that's to be expected. I stim "low and slow" as they say, so I'll hope for more progress in a few days.

2. I spent last night with two of my closest friends (we'll refer to them as Ginger and Smoon). KG and Ginger's DH were there too, loudly getting drunk and being silly. I have been complaining about not drinking during this IVF cycle to anyone who will listen (don't judge, I'm stressed). Yes, I know it is a stupid thing to be sad about, but it sucks. Ginger very sweetly bought me some alcohol-free champagne (much better than one would think) to drink while the others imbibed. It was a small but really thoughtful gesture of kindness. What can I say, I'm a sap.

3. Smoon is a constant reader of my blog, which already makes me love her even more than I already do. Last night she flattered me. She said that by reading the blog, she can see how far I have come on this journey and that she sees I'm no longer such a newb. I'm more experienced and basically just more at peace than before. It was completely validating and gave me some pride. Big kisses Smoon.

I don't think people realize the power of small acts of kindness like these. When they accumulate, they make you feel like people give a shit about you. That they are listening. That they care. I thank my lucky stars that I have people (IRL and online) that give me this kind of love.

Like I said, focusing on the positive over here.

Song of the day: "Last Leaf" by OK Go.  I go to shows quite a bit, and OK Go is one of my favorites to see live. You might remember them from a performance on the MTV Awards a few years back, where they did a choreographed treadmill routine to their song "Here It Goes Again." They are usually a super upbeat, rock out band. But, this is a really tender little ballad. The video is off beat (as they all are from OK Go) but watch anyway.

"If you should be the last autumn leaf hanging from the tree
I'll still be here waiting on the breeze to bring you down to me
And if it takes forever, forever it'll be
And if it takes forever, forever it'll be

And if you should be the last seed in spring to venture out a leaf
I'll still be here waiting on the rain to warm your heart for me
And if it takes forever, forever it'll be
And if it takes forever, forever it'll be"

Edited to add: Check out this video too: SO CREATIVE.


  1. Really cool video. Sorry the process is taking you so long.

  2. It's nice to have the support of friends that can get wat we are going sounds as if if you are lucky to have Ginger and Smoon!
    Happy ICLW!!!!

  3. I'm sure you'll have a GREAT retrieval... when your oves swell from the stimulation, they tend to drop a bit lower than usual. My lefty is usually the hard one to get with 'ol wandy, but by a few days pre-retrieval, it had dropped and was super easy to find.

    Good luck!

  4. Found you through ICLW! Sounds like you are doing a great job keeping your mind on the positives. I could sure use a lesson in that right now. Good luck with the stimming!

  5. I know exactly what you are dealing with with the slow bowels and gas bubbles. UGH! I have the same problem. I have found if you know you are going to be "wanded" or even the speculum, take a gentle laxative or even better a stool softener a day or 2 before. Makes everything so much more comfortable.

  6. Love the positivity! Happy to hear your surrounded by such fabulous, supportive friends. You're one lucky lady!

  7. Keep up the optimism! I hope 2012 is the most amazing year for you! <3 from ICLW!

  8. Visiting from ICLW.
    It makes such difference to have great friends that say just the right things at just the right times. Good luck with your IVF cycle!
    PS - awesome song. Already downloaded and listened to it numerous times!

    1. Awesome! All of their albums (3 or 4 of them I think) are outstanding by the way. Every song on them is awesome.

  9. Excellent work - celebrating the small miracles, will get you through this journey!

  10. hey, I was there, too! Kind of. :) You have come a long way, sister. I'm proud of you.

  11. I think anyone who says they don't miss drinking is lying. I know we are all supposed to be happy to sacrifice anything, but I LOVE CHAMPAGNE :). I definitely downed some sparkling pear cider during my short pregnancy.

    Stopping in from ICLW, #54 on the list.


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