You know it is bad when your RE calls you herself.
0.
Zip.
None.
That's how many of my 23 eggs fertilized.
Even more frustrating? 19 of my eggs and KG's sperm all looked perfect. They have no explanation.
I can't remember some of what she said because I was so stunned. What I do remember is that she said next time, we would do ICSI.
Utter despair.
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Monday, January 30, 2012
Houston, We Have Lift-off
You see these feet? These belong to someone who lived through retrieval this morning!
I won't bore you with all the details but it went very smoothly. The nurse was incredibly nice and got my IV in with no trouble at all.
When I woke up, I was given a slip of paper that said they had retrieved...23. 23 eggs. For serious!
At trigger, my estrogen was at about 1,900. Well into the safe zone. But, with 23 eggs, I won't lie: I'm worried about OHSS. So, I'll drink some Gatorade and eat lots of protein and hope for the best.
In the meantime, I got a yummy treat delivery from a close friend that shall be known as Angel. Truly, that is what she is to bring me peanut butter chocolate cupcakes this afternoon.
His Royal Fabulousness is a perfect Florence Nightengale and held my hand through almost the whole thing. While he waited, he got to enjoy this view from the clinic's windows:
Now, we wait to heart about fertilization results and whether we will have a 3 or 5 day transfer. For now, enjoying what's left of my buzz and making love to my heating pad, while wearing the socks that Kayla got me!
When I woke up, I was given a slip of paper that said they had retrieved...23. 23 eggs. For serious!
At trigger, my estrogen was at about 1,900. Well into the safe zone. But, with 23 eggs, I won't lie: I'm worried about OHSS. So, I'll drink some Gatorade and eat lots of protein and hope for the best.
In the meantime, I got a yummy treat delivery from a close friend that shall be known as Angel. Truly, that is what she is to bring me peanut butter chocolate cupcakes this afternoon.
His Royal Fabulousness is a perfect Florence Nightengale and held my hand through almost the whole thing. While he waited, he got to enjoy this view from the clinic's windows:
Saturday, January 28, 2012
It's On Like Donkey Kong
Triggering 10pm tonight. Retrieval at 7:30am Monday. Holy. Crap.
My less than favorite nurse was the one who called. She made me so nervous that I forgot to ask about my estrogen level. I guess it doesn't matter, right?
Last minute words of advice anyone? Feeling a strange mixture of excitement and fear!
My less than favorite nurse was the one who called. She made me so nervous that I forgot to ask about my estrogen level. I guess it doesn't matter, right?
Last minute words of advice anyone? Feeling a strange mixture of excitement and fear!
"You really turned a corner."
Last night, I was hanging out with Ginger and Smoon again. I was moaning about how my injections are starting to take a big bite out of my social life. Example: I had to make a trip all the way back home, before we could all go out and eat, because I had to mix my stupid Menopur. Another example: Smoon offered me a ticket to see a musical tomorrow and I am stressed about how I'll be able to do my night time injections. See?! Seriously, I've been stimming for 11 days and I am so sick of this shit.
Fast forward to this morning's monitoring appointment: Well, I can't believe it. Between Wednesday and yesterday, we made major progress. On Wednesday, my estrogen was at 404. Yesterday, it was over 1,000! We also saw 18 follicles on ultrasound. Pretty impressive number. Although most were pretty small (largest was 14, others between 8-11), the nurse told me she wanted me back in today because, "I really turned a corner." Low and behold everything grew overnight and the largest ones today were 18, with several close behind at 15 and 16. The ultrasound tech, whom I had never met before and was SUPER perky, said I was getting very close to retrieval. She called my uterus "beautiful" and talked to my ovaries "Mr. Righty" and "Mr. Lefty." You can't make this stuff up.
I'm hoping, when I get my instructions later today, they will tell me that Monday or Tuesday will be our day. We might actually be nearing the finish line.
And so, some eighties inspiration for imminent victory ahead!
Fast forward to this morning's monitoring appointment: Well, I can't believe it. Between Wednesday and yesterday, we made major progress. On Wednesday, my estrogen was at 404. Yesterday, it was over 1,000! We also saw 18 follicles on ultrasound. Pretty impressive number. Although most were pretty small (largest was 14, others between 8-11), the nurse told me she wanted me back in today because, "I really turned a corner." Low and behold everything grew overnight and the largest ones today were 18, with several close behind at 15 and 16. The ultrasound tech, whom I had never met before and was SUPER perky, said I was getting very close to retrieval. She called my uterus "beautiful" and talked to my ovaries "Mr. Righty" and "Mr. Lefty." You can't make this stuff up.
I'm hoping, when I get my instructions later today, they will tell me that Monday or Tuesday will be our day. We might actually be nearing the finish line.
And so, some eighties inspiration for imminent victory ahead!
Thursday, January 26, 2012
post-it love
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| photo credit: shelterpop.com |
I have a really, really bad short term memory. There are many conversations I don't remember shortly after. I ask people to repeat information pretty often. I
Seriously, I think of my brain as a faulty hard drive. However, instead of relying on the the hard drive alone, I have an external drive for backing up all my data: post its.
I am pretty convinced that I use more post-its than most human beings. They cover my desk at work. They are on my refrigerator. They are on my phone. They are in my purse. They show up randomly in my IVF med boxes (more on that later). Simply put, post-its and I have a special relationship. If I could make love to them, I would.
Along these lines, I also force KG to use post-its regularly. Picture this scenario: I have just gone to bed, lights out, covers tucked in.
Then...I remember something important.
Me: "KG! Can you write me a post-it?!"
This is followed by yelling out cryptic phrases to put on said post-it, to jog my memory when I see it in the morning. This has happened hundreds of times.
Being the smart ass that he is, KG started adding to my notes with his own witty banter. Example? Me: "Can you write, 'planning time'?"
<translation: Schedule some planning time with math coordinator at school>
Post-It Note: "Planning time. Not Hammer time."
You get the idea.
Well, since this cycle started, KG has turned his funny post-its into sincere affirmations and words of support. I have found them near the coffee maker saying, "You rock." I have found them on my laptop saying, "You are so brave!" I have found them inside my laptop, stuck to my space bar, saying, "Boo! I love you!" My personal favorite, was found inside one of my Gonal-F pen boxes. It said, "Thank you."
As you can imagine, these little notes are making the excruciatingly slow progress of this cycle a little easier to take.
At least now, I can look at a post-it not only as a sign of early Alzheimer's but also a little reminder that the efforts for this baby are appreciated.
Now, let's talk about Gmail Calendar...
_________________________________________
IVF Update:
-I have been stimming for over a week. Saturday's estrogen was 15, Monday was 187, Wednesday was 404, and tomorrow morning, I'm hoping for at least 800. Shoot. Me. Now.
- Wednesday's ultrasound only showed 1 measurable follicle on the right, with lots of little ones on both the right and the left, that just weren't big enough yet.
- Lots more stimming in my future, me thinks.
Song of the Day: I was listening to the radio this morning, and the DJs were talking about raunchy songs. That got me thinking about the dirtiest songs that I have ever heard. This one came to mind immediately: Prince's "Darling Nikki." Any other Purple Rain fans out there?
What's the dirtiest song you have ever heard?
BTW: Foo Fighters did an amazing, but rare, cover of this song.
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
home cooking...
I love to cook. Before I was a full-time IFer, this was my main hobby. I just love food and making new dishes makes me feel really creative and accomplished. Although I haven't been cooking as many new dishes, I do still make my favorite comfort foods pretty often.
This week, I made a dish that always makes me think of my mother. To me, it is a childhood favorite meal that is scrumptious. But, as I make it, I do wonder if other people would think it was strange. It is a chicken dish that has a sauce that includes orange juice concentrate and garlic. There is more to it, but what you end up with is saucy, moist chicken that is served over rice. Luckily, KG likes it a lot too. But, I remember making it in college, for my roommates, and having them a little weirded out about the ingredients. Still, it makes me happy every single time we eat it.
Do all families have meals that they make, that might appear strange to others? Do you?
P.S. Thanks so much for all the suggestions about both Menopur burn, and how to pass the time. I tried injecting it myself, very slowly, tonight and it went MUCH better. As for passing the time, anything involving baked goods, movies, and/or massages sounds good to me.
So exciting to see so many new readers. Welcome!
This week, I made a dish that always makes me think of my mother. To me, it is a childhood favorite meal that is scrumptious. But, as I make it, I do wonder if other people would think it was strange. It is a chicken dish that has a sauce that includes orange juice concentrate and garlic. There is more to it, but what you end up with is saucy, moist chicken that is served over rice. Luckily, KG likes it a lot too. But, I remember making it in college, for my roommates, and having them a little weirded out about the ingredients. Still, it makes me happy every single time we eat it.
Do all families have meals that they make, that might appear strange to others? Do you?
P.S. Thanks so much for all the suggestions about both Menopur burn, and how to pass the time. I tried injecting it myself, very slowly, tonight and it went MUCH better. As for passing the time, anything involving baked goods, movies, and/or massages sounds good to me.
So exciting to see so many new readers. Welcome!
Monday, January 23, 2012
Soooooo sloooooooow
...my progress that is. I have had 2 monitoring appointments so far, and no measurable follicles yet.
What are my estrogen levels, you ask? 15 on Saturday, 187 today. Going in the right direction, but damn. Hurry up.
In the meantime, my Menopur shots have started to burn (they had me increase from 75u to 150u) and I have started some fantastic mood swings and emotional episodes. Good times!
On the upside, both on Saturday and today, they were able to see both ovaries with dildocam. So, I'm pretty much over my retrieval fears. Small victory, right?
So, to close this brief post, a couple of questions:
PCOSers: How long did you stim with your IVF cycles?
Everyone: What are your favorite ways to pass the time during your cycles and TWW?
Song of the day: His Royal Fabulousness is a huge fan of The Doors.
See if you can guess why I chose this song. :)
What are my estrogen levels, you ask? 15 on Saturday, 187 today. Going in the right direction, but damn. Hurry up.
In the meantime, my Menopur shots have started to burn (they had me increase from 75u to 150u) and I have started some fantastic mood swings and emotional episodes. Good times!
On the upside, both on Saturday and today, they were able to see both ovaries with dildocam. So, I'm pretty much over my retrieval fears. Small victory, right?
So, to close this brief post, a couple of questions:
PCOSers: How long did you stim with your IVF cycles?
Everyone: What are your favorite ways to pass the time during your cycles and TWW?
Song of the day: His Royal Fabulousness is a huge fan of The Doors.
See if you can guess why I chose this song. :)
Sunday, January 22, 2012
ICLW - Well hello there!
I have found a lot of really great blogs through ICLW, so I always enjoy this week of the month. Welcome to anyone new to the blog. You can find my TTC history here. At the moment, I am in the middle of my first IVF cycle, getting used to all that entails.
TTC is a major part of my blog, but so are music, writing, and general grumblings from a barren teacher. I am also a movie lover, especially quirky films from the 50s-present.
Appropriately enough, Raising Arizona is on HBO this morning. If you have never seen it (really? What's wrong with you?!) it is the story of a really bad convenience store robber (Nicholas Cage) and his wife, a policewoman (Holly Hunter). They are infertile and get the idea to steal a baby from a wealthy family who recently had quints. It is by the Coen brothers (Fargo, The Big Lebowski) and it is astoundingly funny and tragic. I have loved this movie for many years, but once you watch it as someone who desperately wants a baby, it does have a certain extra depth than it did in my 20s.
Being an IFer will drive you to do crazy things. I guess stealing a baby is a little overboard though...
Bad um, ching!
TTC is a major part of my blog, but so are music, writing, and general grumblings from a barren teacher. I am also a movie lover, especially quirky films from the 50s-present.
Appropriately enough, Raising Arizona is on HBO this morning. If you have never seen it (really? What's wrong with you?!) it is the story of a really bad convenience store robber (Nicholas Cage) and his wife, a policewoman (Holly Hunter). They are infertile and get the idea to steal a baby from a wealthy family who recently had quints. It is by the Coen brothers (Fargo, The Big Lebowski) and it is astoundingly funny and tragic. I have loved this movie for many years, but once you watch it as someone who desperately wants a baby, it does have a certain extra depth than it did in my 20s.
Being an IFer will drive you to do crazy things. I guess stealing a baby is a little overboard though...
Bad um, ching!
Saturday, January 21, 2012
Everything's Coming Up Millhouse
3 particularly nice things have happened in the last 24 hours. In the spirit of being more positive, I thought I would focus on those instead of the things that made me want to put my forehead through the wall.
1. At my blood draw (results to come later this afternoon) and dildocam today, the technician was extra patient (working around gas bubbles and my slow bowels - yup, I said it) and was able to find both my ovaries internally. This calmed some of my fears about them not being able to retrieve from my left side. Nothing measurable yet, but that's to be expected. I stim "low and slow" as they say, so I'll hope for more progress in a few days.
2. I spent last night with two of my closest friends (we'll refer to them as Ginger and Smoon). KG and Ginger's DH were there too, loudly getting drunk and being silly. I have been complaining about not drinking during this IVF cycle to anyone who will listen (don't judge, I'm stressed). Yes, I know it is a stupid thing to be sad about, but it sucks. Ginger very sweetly bought me some alcohol-free champagne (much better than one would think) to drink while the others imbibed. It was a small but really thoughtful gesture of kindness. What can I say, I'm a sap.
3. Smoon is a constant reader of my blog, which already makes me love her even more than I already do. Last night she flattered me. She said that by reading the blog, she can see how far I have come on this journey and that she sees I'm no longer such a newb. I'm more experienced and basically just more at peace than before. It was completely validating and gave me some pride. Big kisses Smoon.
I don't think people realize the power of small acts of kindness like these. When they accumulate, they make you feel like people give a shit about you. That they are listening. That they care. I thank my lucky stars that I have people (IRL and online) that give me this kind of love.
Like I said, focusing on the positive over here.
Song of the day: "Last Leaf" by OK Go. I go to shows quite a bit, and OK Go is one of my favorites to see live. You might remember them from a performance on the MTV Awards a few years back, where they did a choreographed treadmill routine to their song "Here It Goes Again." They are usually a super upbeat, rock out band. But, this is a really tender little ballad. The video is off beat (as they all are from OK Go) but watch anyway.
"If you should be the last autumn leaf hanging from the tree
I'll still be here waiting on the breeze to bring you down to me
And if it takes forever, forever it'll be
And if it takes forever, forever it'll be
And if you should be the last seed in spring to venture out a leaf
I'll still be here waiting on the rain to warm your heart for me
And if it takes forever, forever it'll be
And if it takes forever, forever it'll be"
Edited to add: Check out this video too: SO CREATIVE.
1. At my blood draw (results to come later this afternoon) and dildocam today, the technician was extra patient (working around gas bubbles and my slow bowels - yup, I said it) and was able to find both my ovaries internally. This calmed some of my fears about them not being able to retrieve from my left side. Nothing measurable yet, but that's to be expected. I stim "low and slow" as they say, so I'll hope for more progress in a few days.
2. I spent last night with two of my closest friends (we'll refer to them as Ginger and Smoon). KG and Ginger's DH were there too, loudly getting drunk and being silly. I have been complaining about not drinking during this IVF cycle to anyone who will listen (don't judge, I'm stressed). Yes, I know it is a stupid thing to be sad about, but it sucks. Ginger very sweetly bought me some alcohol-free champagne (much better than one would think) to drink while the others imbibed. It was a small but really thoughtful gesture of kindness. What can I say, I'm a sap.
3. Smoon is a constant reader of my blog, which already makes me love her even more than I already do. Last night she flattered me. She said that by reading the blog, she can see how far I have come on this journey and that she sees I'm no longer such a newb. I'm more experienced and basically just more at peace than before. It was completely validating and gave me some pride. Big kisses Smoon.
I don't think people realize the power of small acts of kindness like these. When they accumulate, they make you feel like people give a shit about you. That they are listening. That they care. I thank my lucky stars that I have people (IRL and online) that give me this kind of love.
Like I said, focusing on the positive over here.
Song of the day: "Last Leaf" by OK Go. I go to shows quite a bit, and OK Go is one of my favorites to see live. You might remember them from a performance on the MTV Awards a few years back, where they did a choreographed treadmill routine to their song "Here It Goes Again." They are usually a super upbeat, rock out band. But, this is a really tender little ballad. The video is off beat (as they all are from OK Go) but watch anyway.
"If you should be the last autumn leaf hanging from the tree
I'll still be here waiting on the breeze to bring you down to me
And if it takes forever, forever it'll be
And if it takes forever, forever it'll be
And if you should be the last seed in spring to venture out a leaf
I'll still be here waiting on the rain to warm your heart for me
And if it takes forever, forever it'll be
And if it takes forever, forever it'll be"
Edited to add: Check out this video too: SO CREATIVE.
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
"Shouldn't be a problem"
Today, I went in for my pre-op visit with my RE to sign consent for my egg retrieval and to answer last minute questions. Overall, she thinks our chances are great and that we just haven't had many opportunities to get me to ovulate, which is why I haven't gotten pregnant yet. She said my blood work all looked goodish (my LH and FSH which have previously been classically PCOS are apparently very strange and low right now) and I have no structural issues with my ovaries or uterus (duh, I knew that). All excellent news.
Of course, there is always a but...
As we were going over my information, she noticed that the ultrasound technician wrote that my left ovary is hard to detect with the dildocam, and they need to use an external ultrasound to see it. This has been true for over a year. During every ultrasound, except for 1 or 2, they always need to go over my belly to see it, and then BAM it shows up on the screen right away. It's almost like my ovaries sit diagonally from each other, one high up, and one low down.
She said this shouldn't be a problem, as they will have a nurse push down on my ovary to get it within reach during retrieval. "It shouldn't be a problem," she said. SHOULDN'T is the operative word here. Apparently there is a remote chance they won't be able to get my eggs from that side. Apparently this is usually only a problem for women with lots of scar tissue from a myomectomy or some other structural issue that blocks the way to the ovary. But for fuck's sake - one more thing to worry about. Big. Sigh.
So, tonight I start stims: Gonal-F and Menopur. I asked if she thinks I'll have to stim for as many days as with my IUIs (A LOT of days). Her prediction: YUP. Yet. Another. Big. Sigh.
I ended up telling her about my serious IV fear and she was very sweet about it, writing it in big letters on my consents for the anesthesiologist to see. She even told me she wished she could give me a valium, but she isn't allowed to because of signing more consents on the morning of ER.
Yeah, I wish you could too. Seriously, I'll pay you to slip me something good. Valium, Xanax, Klonipin. Any of those would do.
As I was chatting with my RE on the way into her office (she is a huggy, chatty type), I looked to my right into the lab. There was a girl waiting to have her blood drawn, completely sobbing. I swear, I wanted to hug her right then and there. She must have just gotten bad news from my RE and I kept wondering if she was at the beginning, middle, or end of her journey. My guess is she is just starting out and got a diagnosis, but who knows.
I don't know what I would have said to her if I had the chance. Hopefully something that would make her feel supported and understood. Hopefully, I might give her a little bit of the feeling all of you give me.
_________________
Now for the fun stuff:
- A while back, I submitted a piece of writing to RESOLVE for their winter newsletter. I never heard back and assumed the piece was too long. Then, low and behold, I found out it was published! A little thing, but it made my day. There doesn't seem to be an online version available, so I'll post the piece over the weekend.
Song of the Day:
I was a big Amy Winehouse fan. Actually, I still am. Despite the media drama, she was incredibly talented. Lately, I have been listening to the cover she did, on Mark Ronson's album, of a song by an obscure band called the The Zutons. The song is called "Valerie" and I dare you not to bop your head as she sings. An upbeat song for an upbeat day.
(the song starts about 45 seconds into the video)
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Spartan Spirit!
I am channeling my inner Spartan Cheerleader today:
"Who has no cysts in my ovaries? It's me! It's me!"
Ultrasound went very well this morning and we are set to go. Stims start tomorrow!
Thanks so much to Kayla for my comfy fertility socks, worn proudly this morning.
"Who has no cysts in my ovaries? It's me! It's me!"
 | |
| photo credit: NBC |
Thanks so much to Kayla for my comfy fertility socks, worn proudly this morning.
Monday, January 16, 2012
Big Girls...You are Beautiful!
14,306 words written this weekend. Yup, that's right. My progress reports are all drafted.
I can't emphasize enough what a huge undertaking these are, especially at a private school.
My timeline looked like this:
Last Sunday - 3 hours spent on one report that needed to be completed early
Over the course of last week: gathering assessment data, compiling notes, looking through portfolios, and beginning skills checklists
Friday - 3 hours of work after a full school day
Saturday-Monday: worked 5-6 hours per day, only stopping for lunch and pee breaks
Tomorrow: after dildocam in the morning, will edit and proofread all of them
Wednesday: trade reports with teaching partner, making any subsequent changes
Friday: get edits from Head of School
Then, we get to wait for emails and phone calls from parents, questioning each and every statement we wrote about their children. Oy.
So...
To celebrate my victory over my progress reports, I played some Just Dance 2 (which I am starting to prefer to Just Dance 3...yup) on our Wii. Because this is the only exercise I can seem to force myself to do these days, I look pretty spastic trying to break a sweat. But, man is it fun. Somehow I forget while I'm playing about my muffin top and jiggly thighs, for a little while.
For this reason, one of the songs on the soundtrack by Mika gives me a total ego boost, being a big girl myself.
Enjoy this tribute to all us girls with a booty!
I can't emphasize enough what a huge undertaking these are, especially at a private school.
My timeline looked like this:
Last Sunday - 3 hours spent on one report that needed to be completed early
Over the course of last week: gathering assessment data, compiling notes, looking through portfolios, and beginning skills checklists
Friday - 3 hours of work after a full school day
Saturday-Monday: worked 5-6 hours per day, only stopping for lunch and pee breaks
Tomorrow: after dildocam in the morning, will edit and proofread all of them
Wednesday: trade reports with teaching partner, making any subsequent changes
Friday: get edits from Head of School
Then, we get to wait for emails and phone calls from parents, questioning each and every statement we wrote about their children. Oy.
So...
To celebrate my victory over my progress reports, I played some Just Dance 2 (which I am starting to prefer to Just Dance 3...yup) on our Wii. Because this is the only exercise I can seem to force myself to do these days, I look pretty spastic trying to break a sweat. But, man is it fun. Somehow I forget while I'm playing about my muffin top and jiggly thighs, for a little while.
For this reason, one of the songs on the soundtrack by Mika gives me a total ego boost, being a big girl myself.
Enjoy this tribute to all us girls with a booty!
Saturday, January 14, 2012
A perfect gift
Today, I gave my parent's a belated anniversary gift from 3,000 miles away. His Royal Fabulousness came up with the idea, and he is a total genius.
Here is the back story: My parents lived in Boston many years ago, when they first met. Actually, my father was in graduate school here and met her in Los Angeles (my hometown) while home on a school break. It was a blind date, and it stuck. My mother ended up marrying my dad quickly, and moving to Boston to be with him. Eventually, they moved back to California to be closer to my grandparents and so my dad could attend law school back home. They have been married for 41 years.
They look back on their time in Boston as some of the happiest years of their lives. The fact that I ended up going to college here, and then subsequently lived here permanently, made them incredibly happy. So, when they visit, they always like to visit their old favorite places. Over the years, many of these have sadly closed down. But, Durgin Park, a favorite restaurant, is still up and running. The place is a Boston institution and is located downtown, in Faneuil Hall. My folks went there all the time when they lived here, mainly for lobster and a special dessert. This very old school dessert is traced back to colonial times and is called Indian Pudding.
It is a cornmeal pudding with molasses, butter, milk, spices, etc. and is served with ice cream. My parents LOVE this dessert. Seriously, they can not come to visit without making the trip to Durgin Park to get it.
So, here was KG's amazing idea:
1. Call friend in L.A. who is a caterer/personal chef/new bakeshop owner.
2. Ask her to please recreate this dessert.
3. Buy 2 of her wonderful pot pies to round out the meal, in true New England fashion.
4. Have said meal delivered to parent's home, as a surprise.
I happened to call my dad while he received the delivery and I heard really sincere surprise and joy in his voice. My parents seemed really touched by the gift. As someone who has difficulty buying good gifts for people, this one really made me feel like I did something right.
That's just one more reason to keep KG around.
So, today's song is a romantic one that KG and I often dance to, in our kitchen. It is an oldie but goodie that has stood the test of time, just like my folks.
Happy anniversary Mom and Dad.
_______________________
Status of progress reports? 5 down, 8 to go. Of course, they need to be edited and proofread, but progress is being made.
Status of IVF? AF arrived today. Lupron continues. Awaiting Tuesday morning's monitoring appointment.
Here is the back story: My parents lived in Boston many years ago, when they first met. Actually, my father was in graduate school here and met her in Los Angeles (my hometown) while home on a school break. It was a blind date, and it stuck. My mother ended up marrying my dad quickly, and moving to Boston to be with him. Eventually, they moved back to California to be closer to my grandparents and so my dad could attend law school back home. They have been married for 41 years.
They look back on their time in Boston as some of the happiest years of their lives. The fact that I ended up going to college here, and then subsequently lived here permanently, made them incredibly happy. So, when they visit, they always like to visit their old favorite places. Over the years, many of these have sadly closed down. But, Durgin Park, a favorite restaurant, is still up and running. The place is a Boston institution and is located downtown, in Faneuil Hall. My folks went there all the time when they lived here, mainly for lobster and a special dessert. This very old school dessert is traced back to colonial times and is called Indian Pudding.
 |
| photo credit: simplyrecipes.com |
So, here was KG's amazing idea:
1. Call friend in L.A. who is a caterer/personal chef/new bakeshop owner.
2. Ask her to please recreate this dessert.
3. Buy 2 of her wonderful pot pies to round out the meal, in true New England fashion.
4. Have said meal delivered to parent's home, as a surprise.
I happened to call my dad while he received the delivery and I heard really sincere surprise and joy in his voice. My parents seemed really touched by the gift. As someone who has difficulty buying good gifts for people, this one really made me feel like I did something right.
That's just one more reason to keep KG around.
So, today's song is a romantic one that KG and I often dance to, in our kitchen. It is an oldie but goodie that has stood the test of time, just like my folks.
Happy anniversary Mom and Dad.
_______________________
Status of progress reports? 5 down, 8 to go. Of course, they need to be edited and proofread, but progress is being made.
Status of IVF? AF arrived today. Lupron continues. Awaiting Tuesday morning's monitoring appointment.
Friday, January 13, 2012
Cocoon
No, not the movie. Although that would go so nicely with my post about how much I love the eighties. No, here I refer to the cocoon of report-writing I am about to enter for the next 4 days. I usually write for about 5-6 hours per day, and then turn into a puddle of exhausted mess on my couch.
So, today's song is in honor of my students, and in honor of how little I like my job on weekends like this. I know, I know, this is what I get paid the medium-sized bucks for.
Hopefully, there are some other Pink Floyd fans out there.
In other news:
• did anyone notice that in Blogger you can now reply to comments!? Like instead of doing a whole other comment, you can just reply?! Am I an idiot, or is this new?
• still wearing the big girl panties with my Lupron shots!
• yesterday was the last day of the BCP/Lupron overlap - could it have been my last pill ever?!
• hopefully AF comes tomorrow
• baseline ultrasound and bloodwork on Tuesday
• stims should start Wednesday
KG and I are SO READY to get this show on the road for reals.
Bloating, follicles, and dildocams, here we come.
So, today's song is in honor of my students, and in honor of how little I like my job on weekends like this. I know, I know, this is what I get paid the medium-sized bucks for.
Hopefully, there are some other Pink Floyd fans out there.
In other news:
• did anyone notice that in Blogger you can now reply to comments!? Like instead of doing a whole other comment, you can just reply?! Am I an idiot, or is this new?
• still wearing the big girl panties with my Lupron shots!
• yesterday was the last day of the BCP/Lupron overlap - could it have been my last pill ever?!
• hopefully AF comes tomorrow
• baseline ultrasound and bloodwork on Tuesday
• stims should start Wednesday
KG and I are SO READY to get this show on the road for reals.
Bloating, follicles, and dildocams, here we come.
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Roth vs. Hagar
I don't know if I have ever mentioned this before, but I am an eighties fanatic. I have a ridiculously in-depth knowledge of movies, TV, and film from the 1980s. This comes in quite handy when playing trivia at a bar, or naming songs heard in TV commercials.
A few days ago, His Royal Fabulousness mentioned that Van Halen is touring again and that tickets go on sale soon. I then managed to totally forget this fact until I heard "Panama" on the radio, on the way home from school. This is definitely one of my favorites, because I am firmly on the David Lee Roth side of the Hagar/Roth debate.
I won't lie. I love hair bands. This comes mostly from the influence of my older sister growing up, but has stayed consistent throughout adulthood. No joke, KG and I have seen Poison, Motley Crue, Sebastian Bach (Skid Row), Dokken, and several others live. I am extremely tempted to buy tickets to see Van Halen and add them to the ticket stub collection.
Any other closet hair metal fans out there? Since it is de-lurking week (thanks Mel at Stirrup Queens), take this as an opportunity to tell me who you are and if you dig the latex and big hair in comments.
_________________________________________________
In other news:
- Still in beginning stages of progress report writing, which will kick into high gear Friday afternoon
- Day 3 of Lupron
- Yes, I did today's injection myself too! I found my big girl panties!
Photo credit: zazzle.com
A few days ago, His Royal Fabulousness mentioned that Van Halen is touring again and that tickets go on sale soon. I then managed to totally forget this fact until I heard "Panama" on the radio, on the way home from school. This is definitely one of my favorites, because I am firmly on the David Lee Roth side of the Hagar/Roth debate.
I won't lie. I love hair bands. This comes mostly from the influence of my older sister growing up, but has stayed consistent throughout adulthood. No joke, KG and I have seen Poison, Motley Crue, Sebastian Bach (Skid Row), Dokken, and several others live. I am extremely tempted to buy tickets to see Van Halen and add them to the ticket stub collection.
Any other closet hair metal fans out there? Since it is de-lurking week (thanks Mel at Stirrup Queens), take this as an opportunity to tell me who you are and if you dig the latex and big hair in comments.
_________________________________________________
In other news:
- Still in beginning stages of progress report writing, which will kick into high gear Friday afternoon
- Day 3 of Lupron
Photo credit: zazzle.com
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
I rock + a little riot girrl action
I have not felt this good about myself since I learned to tie my shoes. I managed, for the first time ever, to give myself my own injection. I had no choice (aka I was waiting on the school nurse and she was running late) but I did do it. Therefore, I am awesome today.
On that note, I was a huge fan of riot grrl bands in high school. A more famous examples was Hole, but less famous (and far better) examples include bands like Bikini Kill, Bratmobile, L7, and my favorite, Sleater Kinney. All that music made me feel powerful when I was a teenager and it still does to this day. Here is a rockin' example that will leave you drumming on your desk. Here is Sleater-Kinney's "Little Babies." Enjoy!
On that note, I was a huge fan of riot grrl bands in high school. A more famous examples was Hole, but less famous (and far better) examples include bands like Bikini Kill, Bratmobile, L7, and my favorite, Sleater Kinney. All that music made me feel powerful when I was a teenager and it still does to this day. Here is a rockin' example that will leave you drumming on your desk. Here is Sleater-Kinney's "Little Babies." Enjoy!
Monday, January 9, 2012
Socks and Lenny
A big, huge thank you to Kayla for the fabulous fertility sock delivery today. I just love them!
Song of the Day: Believe by Lenny Kravitz. I chose Lenny for the following reasons:
1. He is one of the sexiest men alive.
2. By fate, this song came on my iPod today on my second day of Lupron shots - perfect IVF inspiration.
3. It brings back major high school memories.
Any other Lenny fans out there?
And now back to lesson prep, report writing, and dinner preparations!
Song of the Day: Believe by Lenny Kravitz. I chose Lenny for the following reasons:
1. He is one of the sexiest men alive.
2. By fate, this song came on my iPod today on my second day of Lupron shots - perfect IVF inspiration.
3. It brings back major high school memories.
Any other Lenny fans out there?
And now back to lesson prep, report writing, and dinner preparations!
Sunday, January 8, 2012
Musical Interlude
I am a music fanatic. I always have been and married someone who shares my passion. Our music taste is incredibly varied, and only sometimes embarrassing. Seriously, everything from classical, obscure folk, angry punk, and drum and bass to crappy pop tunes and American Idol winners. We spend more money on concert tickets and iTunes than is financially advisable, but we wouldn't have it any other way.
Since I am going to be a workaholic this week and next, I thought of an idea for blog posting this week.
As often as I can, I'm going to post any quick bullets and a video of a song that is either:
1. stuck in my head
2. describes my mood
3. is inspiring
4. is on the soundtrack of Just Dance 3, my current addiction
Here is today's selection, which I have been listening to on repeat, making my husband want to throw something at my iPod. I can't help it, I love both Bruno Mars and Twilight, despite the fact that I am not 13 years old. At least, not on the outside.
Updates:
• did my first Lupron shot today
• had my last rum cocktail (or 2, or 3) last night, for the foreseeable future
• currently avoiding writing about the reading skills of 10 year olds
Carry on.
Since I am going to be a workaholic this week and next, I thought of an idea for blog posting this week.
As often as I can, I'm going to post any quick bullets and a video of a song that is either:
1. stuck in my head
2. describes my mood
3. is inspiring
4. is on the soundtrack of Just Dance 3, my current addiction
Here is today's selection, which I have been listening to on repeat, making my husband want to throw something at my iPod. I can't help it, I love both Bruno Mars and Twilight, despite the fact that I am not 13 years old. At least, not on the outside.
Updates:
• did my first Lupron shot today
• had my last rum cocktail (or 2, or 3) last night, for the foreseeable future
• currently avoiding writing about the reading skills of 10 year olds
Carry on.
Saturday, January 7, 2012
Back to the Grind
Any teachers out there?
If so, you know how it goes when you return to school after winter break. Any hopes I had of slowly readjusting were dashed within a few minutes of the kids walking in the room! My teaching partner and I quickly got overwhelmed as we looked at our plan books and realized that we needed to quickly plan in a ton of assessments for upcoming progress reports and get several major curriculum projects kicked off. To those not in the classroom, this may sound like minor issues. But, when the tasks involve 26 children, it is daunting.
You know those progress reports I mentioned? I teach in a private school, so those progress reports involve very long narratives, bulleted strengths and goals in every subject, and checklists of skills. Altogether, I write between 12,000-15,000 words when all is said and done. The parents are paying major bucks for tuition, so they expect lengthy and detailed information on their kids. Although I feel like writing the reports is a major strength of mine, it takes at least five days of writing, spending 5-6 hours at a time at my laptop, on top of the prep time to review my notes and samples of their work. Not to mention correcting new work as it comes in.
All of this, on top of actually teaching my classes, tutoring, and doing normal administrative duties.
Needless to say, even in my seventh year of teaching, I get really stressed in January.
I suggested to my dad that he buy me a massage, to alleviate said stress. He agreed! I go in at noon for a 90 minute massage.
I. Can't. Wait.
Needless to say, my blog might be neglected over the next 10 days or so.
___________________________________
So, in IVF #1 news - here is the latest:
• His Royal Fabulousness (aka KG, because I am lazy) and I met with my RE's nurse for a lesson in all my meds. It was really helpful to watch her mix meds and such in front of us. She commented on what a relaxed, non-squeamish guy he is, and I had to agree. I don't know what I would do without him giving me these shots.
• I start Lupron tomorrow morning. On days I am home, KG will do the shots. On school days, my school nurse will do them. She has three sons from IVF herself! I stay on Lupron through the last several days of BCP (last pill on Jan. 12th) and then get a period while on Lupron.
• On Jan. 17th, I have a baseline ultrasound and bloodwork scheduled, then I start Gonal-F and Menopur the next day. I wish I had asked why I can't do an ultrasound now, to make sure the cysts are gone, before I start Lupron. Anyone know the answer to why they have me start Lupron first?
• I do stims and Lupron until my hcg trigger (aka BIG ASS NEEDLE #1).
• Egg retrieval is the day after, with embryo transfer either 3 or 5 days later, depending on how the little suckers fertilize. Can't wait for transfer. Transfer = valium.
• Fun progesterone in oil (PIO) injections start after transfer, along with estrogen patches, antibiotics, steroids, and other fun stuff.
__________________________________________
KG said the sweetest thing the afternoon of our meds lesson. In the most earnest way, he thanked me for being willing to go through all of this to make our baby. I'm telling you, that boy melts my heart sometimes. You should have heard the sweetness in his voice.
Now, if that sweetness could include him giving up alcohol with me this cycle, THAT would be something.
So, although I am not excited, I am feeling like it is time to get this show on the road. I'm as ready as I will ever be.
If so, you know how it goes when you return to school after winter break. Any hopes I had of slowly readjusting were dashed within a few minutes of the kids walking in the room! My teaching partner and I quickly got overwhelmed as we looked at our plan books and realized that we needed to quickly plan in a ton of assessments for upcoming progress reports and get several major curriculum projects kicked off. To those not in the classroom, this may sound like minor issues. But, when the tasks involve 26 children, it is daunting.
You know those progress reports I mentioned? I teach in a private school, so those progress reports involve very long narratives, bulleted strengths and goals in every subject, and checklists of skills. Altogether, I write between 12,000-15,000 words when all is said and done. The parents are paying major bucks for tuition, so they expect lengthy and detailed information on their kids. Although I feel like writing the reports is a major strength of mine, it takes at least five days of writing, spending 5-6 hours at a time at my laptop, on top of the prep time to review my notes and samples of their work. Not to mention correcting new work as it comes in.
All of this, on top of actually teaching my classes, tutoring, and doing normal administrative duties.
Needless to say, even in my seventh year of teaching, I get really stressed in January.
I suggested to my dad that he buy me a massage, to alleviate said stress. He agreed! I go in at noon for a 90 minute massage.
I. Can't. Wait.
Needless to say, my blog might be neglected over the next 10 days or so.
___________________________________
So, in IVF #1 news - here is the latest:
• His Royal Fabulousness (aka KG, because I am lazy) and I met with my RE's nurse for a lesson in all my meds. It was really helpful to watch her mix meds and such in front of us. She commented on what a relaxed, non-squeamish guy he is, and I had to agree. I don't know what I would do without him giving me these shots.
• I start Lupron tomorrow morning. On days I am home, KG will do the shots. On school days, my school nurse will do them. She has three sons from IVF herself! I stay on Lupron through the last several days of BCP (last pill on Jan. 12th) and then get a period while on Lupron.
• On Jan. 17th, I have a baseline ultrasound and bloodwork scheduled, then I start Gonal-F and Menopur the next day. I wish I had asked why I can't do an ultrasound now, to make sure the cysts are gone, before I start Lupron. Anyone know the answer to why they have me start Lupron first?
• I do stims and Lupron until my hcg trigger (aka BIG ASS NEEDLE #1).
• Egg retrieval is the day after, with embryo transfer either 3 or 5 days later, depending on how the little suckers fertilize. Can't wait for transfer. Transfer = valium.
• Fun progesterone in oil (PIO) injections start after transfer, along with estrogen patches, antibiotics, steroids, and other fun stuff.
__________________________________________
KG said the sweetest thing the afternoon of our meds lesson. In the most earnest way, he thanked me for being willing to go through all of this to make our baby. I'm telling you, that boy melts my heart sometimes. You should have heard the sweetness in his voice.
Now, if that sweetness could include him giving up alcohol with me this cycle, THAT would be something.
So, although I am not excited, I am feeling like it is time to get this show on the road. I'm as ready as I will ever be.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Creme de la Creme 2011
Mel at Stirrup Queens posted the Creme de la Creme list this morning! This is an enormous labor of love and I am deeply appreciative of her efforts. I will slowly but surely read every post in the list.
The post I submitted is here. Of course the Murphy's Law of the Creme list is that I changed my mind after I had submitted the post. Oh well. Lesson learned: Next year, wait a little while longer to choose the post.
I hope you all had a happy and safe New Year's Eve. I spent it with His Royal Fabulousness and two close friends. We ate dinner, laughed, and drank cocktails and champagne. Although I love a good NYE party, this was just what the doctor ordered.
I hope everyone is enjoying New Year's Day in their pajamas, on the couch, just like I am.
The post I submitted is here. Of course the Murphy's Law of the Creme list is that I changed my mind after I had submitted the post. Oh well. Lesson learned: Next year, wait a little while longer to choose the post.
I hope you all had a happy and safe New Year's Eve. I spent it with His Royal Fabulousness and two close friends. We ate dinner, laughed, and drank cocktails and champagne. Although I love a good NYE party, this was just what the doctor ordered.
I hope everyone is enjoying New Year's Day in their pajamas, on the couch, just like I am.
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