...trying to expose only a few people to the level of crazy that is happening in my head this week.
Trust me, you'd thank me if you knew.
The RE's office wouldn't let me come in early to do the beta, so I am still waiting until Friday to see what's what.
Let's just say, the Fabulousness household should have rubber walls right now. I'll post more about the details of this week in a few days. Seriously, I forgot what the effect of the TWW is like, because I really haven't had the opportunity to have a true TWW in a very, very long time.
Oh, and so much for how well PIO shots were going. The shots have now created MAJOR knots at my injection sites. Not only are they painful, they freak me out a little. Yes, I am using heat and massage, but it looks like I'm just lucky that way. I mentioned the pain to my acupuncturist, who quickly fit me in today. That woman worked some magic, because they are quite a bit smaller this evening than they were this morning. This is the closest I've ever come to being able to "prove" the value of the money I'm spending on treatment.
Only another day and a half to go.
By the way, a big, big congrats to Belle on her BFP. Congrats lady!
Now, back to the Bruins playoffs.
Showing posts with label injectables. Show all posts
Showing posts with label injectables. Show all posts
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Holy medication delivery, Batman!
I got my shipment of IVF meds nice and early (starting Lupron on January 8th!) and nearly had a heart attack. I don't even know what some of these meds are!
Here is what came today:
Gonal-F (my old friend)
Menopur
Doxycycline
Leuprolide Acetate (Lupron, right?)
Pregnyl
Progesterone for PIO injections
Vivelle patch (?)
Cefoxitin (?)
Methylprednisolon (?)
Diazepam (Yes!!!)
and an assload of syringes, some scarier than others.
I will be given lots of instructions when we get closer to starting the meds, but if any of my IVF veteran readers can tell me what (?) meds are for, that would be very helpful.
If only they could triple the dose of diazepam, I would be all set.
In other news, I haven't seen the Sporker for the last two days and we leave for Aruba on Saturday. Joy!
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Needles
I am no fan of needles. Never have been. This began when I was 8 and had my tonsils out. I was scared to begin with, and the sadomasochistic nurse put the IV in my hand without numbing it first.
In adulthood, although I always get blood work when I need it, I always have intense fear. I have to look away, breathe deeply, and avoid the humiliation of passing out. Sweating and crying are common. To make matters worse I have had several inept nurses try to draw blood and leave me with bruises. They tend to blame me for this problem. Occasionally, I have a gifted phlebotomist or other medical professional who has no trouble at all.
Then, when I went for my first D&C after the miscarriage, I had a horrific IV experience. The nurse who was assigned to me tried to get the IV placed TWICE without success. Each attempt included an injection of numbing agent first. That means 4 needles later, and the IV was not placed. Finally, another nurse is able to place the IV. That means it took a total of 6 pokes. 6.
So, needless to say, I have needle fear. This wasn't helped by the fact that my last blood draw at the RE's office did not go smoothly.
But, after months of setbacks, we finally got the go ahead to start injectable medications, leading to an IUI. This is good news. There is a much higher chance of the treatment being successful than anything we have tried yet. But, then there is the needle.
The first night, after watching the YouTube videos reminding us about how to give the shots, I sat with the syringe in my hand shaking. I tried over and over again to give myself the shot. The inner dialogue went something like this:
"Real women don't need a man to give them the shots."
"I should be able to do this! This will help get us a baby!"
"That needle is huge." (It isn't.)
"How the hell do diabetics do this?"
"Would my stomach or my leg hurt less?"
Etc. Etc. Etc.
Deciding I couldn't do it myself, I handed the needle over to Kev. We started a count to 3 several times. I couldn't seem to get to 3. After 2 venue changes, and much whining, he said, "This is going to happen one way or another tonight." So, after 30 minutes, while hiding my face, we counted "1.....2......3!"
Then....nothing. It didn't hurt. I barely felt it. But what I did feel is like I am an idiot.
But, somehow, the anxiety ramped up even more the next day. In my head, I knew it wouldn't hurt. But, that irrational fear just took over my brain. I started to really wonder if I could ever do IVF if I need to. From many infertile friends, I know THOSE shots are horrific. However, that night, although I shake and fuss, I allow Kev to get the shot done in half the time. Progress.
The third night, I make a major breakthrough. After prepping the shot, I looked at hubs and said, "I'm counting to 3. Just do it."
2 minutes. Done.The ensuing nights are similar.
I might still be lame for not doing it myself, but I'll take bravery in little bits and pieces.
In adulthood, although I always get blood work when I need it, I always have intense fear. I have to look away, breathe deeply, and avoid the humiliation of passing out. Sweating and crying are common. To make matters worse I have had several inept nurses try to draw blood and leave me with bruises. They tend to blame me for this problem. Occasionally, I have a gifted phlebotomist or other medical professional who has no trouble at all.
Then, when I went for my first D&C after the miscarriage, I had a horrific IV experience. The nurse who was assigned to me tried to get the IV placed TWICE without success. Each attempt included an injection of numbing agent first. That means 4 needles later, and the IV was not placed. Finally, another nurse is able to place the IV. That means it took a total of 6 pokes. 6.
So, needless to say, I have needle fear. This wasn't helped by the fact that my last blood draw at the RE's office did not go smoothly.
But, after months of setbacks, we finally got the go ahead to start injectable medications, leading to an IUI. This is good news. There is a much higher chance of the treatment being successful than anything we have tried yet. But, then there is the needle.
The first night, after watching the YouTube videos reminding us about how to give the shots, I sat with the syringe in my hand shaking. I tried over and over again to give myself the shot. The inner dialogue went something like this:
"Real women don't need a man to give them the shots."
"I should be able to do this! This will help get us a baby!"
"That needle is huge." (It isn't.)
"How the hell do diabetics do this?"
"Would my stomach or my leg hurt less?"
Etc. Etc. Etc.
Deciding I couldn't do it myself, I handed the needle over to Kev. We started a count to 3 several times. I couldn't seem to get to 3. After 2 venue changes, and much whining, he said, "This is going to happen one way or another tonight." So, after 30 minutes, while hiding my face, we counted "1.....2......3!"
Then....nothing. It didn't hurt. I barely felt it. But what I did feel is like I am an idiot.
But, somehow, the anxiety ramped up even more the next day. In my head, I knew it wouldn't hurt. But, that irrational fear just took over my brain. I started to really wonder if I could ever do IVF if I need to. From many infertile friends, I know THOSE shots are horrific. However, that night, although I shake and fuss, I allow Kev to get the shot done in half the time. Progress.
The third night, I make a major breakthrough. After prepping the shot, I looked at hubs and said, "I'm counting to 3. Just do it."
2 minutes. Done.The ensuing nights are similar.
I might still be lame for not doing it myself, but I'll take bravery in little bits and pieces.
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