Sunday, June 3, 2012

The Demise of Rock and Roll and Thoughts on Belly Shots

I'm in the mood for bullets.

• Those of you who have been reading the blog for a while know about my love of music. It's a part of my identity that I cling to. But, I am grieving for a death in the music community this week, hardcore.

My favorite Boston radio station is going under this week, after being sold to Clear Channel. I have been depressed about it all week, probably disproportionately so. WFNX (started in 1983) was one of the last independent, alternative rock stations. It comes on the heels of another major rock station's demise (WBCN) in 2009.

Both of these stations were a major part of Boston's local rock scene. WFNX had entire blocks dedicated to showcasing local bands and sponsored live shows nearly every week. It was where I heard bands like The Raconteurs, The Black Keys, and Alabama Shakes for the first time. They had bands like The Pixies, The Smiths, and The Cure in heavy rotation with newer bands like Bombay Bicycle Club. It kept me in the loop. It kept me current. It kept me from feeling like a total dinosaur. Howard Stern warned me about the evils of Clear Channel years ago when he made the switch to satellite radio. I should have listened to him. Now, where will I hear about tiny bands, about to make it big?

• I saw The Avengers last week. It is AMAZING. Go see it.

My thoughts on belly shots:

I hate my stomach. I have struggled with body image issues my entire life. I have posted before (I think) about how much I struggled with my weight for most of my life. Then in 2008 I went through a significant weight loss (although it wasn't enough to reach my goal weight), which improved my comfort in my own skin. I was at the gym consistently taking spin classes and I got a trainer for a while. I weighed my food and made pretty good choices. Then, since starting injectables (IUIs, then IVFs) my exercise routine went by the wayside. I just couldn't handle the emotional and physical fatigue. But, I've been okay with the softening of my thighs, butt, and belly. I haven't really gained any actual poundage, I am just...mushier. I am also 100% okay with gaining baby weight. I'll deal with the aftermath post-partum. BUT....then there is the idea of belly shots. My intention is to avoid belly shots until later on, perhaps 12, 14, or 16 weeks. I wouldn't show until then anyway right? No need to make people gross out at the site of my stomach.

But then, I was in a dressing room yesterday in yoga pants, and I noticed it. The beginnings of a bump. I'm 10 weeks tomorrow, so it makes sense. Honestly, I got a little excited at the sight. Then I realized, I was sucking in. I suck in every second I am standing. I always have. When I let go of the breath that was holding my tummy in, I realized the belly was WAY rounder and larger. The perfectionist in me wondered: when women take belly shots, are they sucking in? Or are they letting it all hang out? For those who are or have been pregnant, what do you do?

• Some folks have been asking about my symptoms. In general, I have gotten off very easy so far. I don't have many, and the ones I do have are very subtle. I've been very tired (naps and such) and had some passing queasiness. Also, I suddenly can't eat fish or beef, and want iced drinks instead of my normal room temperature preference. For the first few weeks, I couldn't regulate my temperature very well - I would swing from freezing to sweating a lot. I hadn't heard of that as a symptom before, but what can I say? I'm an original. But all of that seems to be settling down, which my RE says is normal between weeks 9-12.

• My intake appointment with the new OB's nurse is Wednesday. We meet with the actual OB on Friday afternoon. Not sure if that will be too early for a listen to the heartbeat with a doppler, but here's hoping.

• I also turn 32 on Wednesday. I almost forgot I have a birthday coming up, until KG asked what I wanted to do. I'm thinking this will be a quiet one, but the best birthday I've had since my 29th, before we started TTC.

In honor of the demise of WFNX, REM's "It's the End of the World As We Know It"



  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. I hope you have a fabulous birthday!

  3. That's such a bummer about the WFNX. And it's a good reminder to me to support my local radio station. I grew up in an area where there were no local radio stations and missed out on some amazing music for years, so I completely understand your loss. Hopefully that will be remedied very soon.

    No thoughts on the belly shots other than to do what you're comfortable with.

    Will be thinking of you on Wednesday and hoping for a good day all around!

  4. The end of the station sounds like the death of a good friend. I am so sorry! I wish stations in my town would play more obscure music. I dont have time ro peruse the net or music stores for the great talent like others. I wish i was more knowledgable with music.

    Cant wait to see your belly shots! I was thinking if i did suck in... it would make the bump more apparent when it actually grows rather than taking pictures of my rolls because you cant suck in a bump. But i just try to stand uo straight and relax the stomach without sticking it out.

    Glad youre finally seeing your bump! I was thinking i better start buttering mine soon for elasticity. I am going to have stretch marks for sure. Damn genetics. Better start early.

  5. I love love love music too! And I just turned 32 myself. I get a lot of my new music loves from CBC and CKUA in Edmonton. Probably neither nearly as awesome as Boston stations, but they play emerging artists and are fans of all the bands you've listed. Good luck finding a new station!

  6. It sucked when we lost a lot of our radio stations. 3 of my favorites in one year. That's why I don't really listen to the radio much anymore.
    I personally love watching bellies grow, but you need to do what you are comfortable with.
    I will be thinking about you Wednesday and I hope you have a wonderful birthday!

  7. I'll have to echo Alicia on this one...CBC! Mostly Canadian bands, but lots of independent artists that are absolutely amazing. has a great player that lets you pick channels (acoustic, country, rock, pop, classical, etc.) as well as CBC Radio 3's blog and artist pages. So, so, so good.

  8. We are so sad about WFNX. And when BCN went off the air, my husband listened to it all night. Clear channel sucks!

    And I totally don't suck in for belly shots. Its a perfect excuse to give yourself a break!

  9. Oh...belly shots. I think Lanie is right. You can't suck in a bump, it is what it is. If you feel better taking a picture while sucking in a little, do it. You want to see the bump and not the bloat anyway. I usually make sure I am standing straight and turned so you can see the bump. I am a little self conscious too, but I figure I would rather have the progress recorded since it may be our only/last pregnancy.

  10. sucking in a baby bump is impossible. you can suck in the top of your tummy, but I was never able to suck in the bottom bit, the baby bump......
    oh, and happy birthday Wednesday!!

  11. KCRW out of LA is pretty great about covering new and emerging music. I'm pretty sure you can stream live or recorded episodes. Happy Birthday!

  12. I know it's kind of strange, but that was my absolute favorite song when I was like 12.

    I'm not going to take belly shots until later either - I've got a fake bloat bump right now and I don't want to immortalize it!

  13. Ugh. I hate Clear Channel. I'm so sorry about your station. There's an independent station in my city and if it ever went under I'd be lost.

  14. I have sucked my stomach in for as long as I can remember and let me assure you there is a point in your pregnancy where it will not be comfortable to do so anymore. I probably waited until I was 18 weeks along, but by then it was beyond hard to keep it up all day every day. I would think that people who post belly photos have either never sucked in, or have reached the point where it isn't comfortable to suck in any more.

  15. I have sucked my stomach in for as long as I can remember and let me assure you there is a point in your pregnancy where it will not be comfortable to do so anymore. I probably waited until I was 18 weeks along, but by then it was beyond hard to keep it up all day every day. I would think that people who post belly photos have either never sucked in, or have reached the point where it isn't comfortable to suck in any more.

  16. I always suck in but when I take the belly shots I try to relax my belly, although it doesn't matter much now that I am getting big!

  17. Truly... yeah, I tried to suck it in the first few weeks I took pictures. (I wanted to have something impressive to compare it to when I got really big!) But pretty quickly, sucking it in became effectively impossible. At 20 weeks, I'm letting it all hang out, all the time... because I don't have a choice anymore!

  18. That station sounds wonderful, so I understand your sadness over its demise. I had two stations like that where I grew up, and over time, they've sold out.

    No tips on belly shots though.

  19. Happy Birthday and good luck on Wednesday! I hope it's a wonderful appointment, and I can't wait for the next update :)

    PS I totally scrapped early belly shots after this last IVF cycle. I hate looking at my belly now. :) I hope it will change soon though.

  20. Music: out of Seattle, they stream live on the internet

    Belly: yes, I suck it in because I do not believe it is baby. I think it is just bowel, because I only have a belly after I eat. In the morning it is flat as usual. I figure the way I will know it is really baby is that I won't be able to suck it in anymore. :)

  21. I started my belly shots at 9w. Some people do belly shots fully clothed, too.

    I have never been happier with my body and how it looked than when I was pregnant. I hope you find it liberating. I loved how round my belly was, and finally having boobs. I would just stare at myself in the shower like ... like a really vain person. hahaha.

    I also hardly ever suck in, probably bc of the singing. When I need to look slimmer, I go for SPANX. I'm too lazy to suck in.

    And you could always take the pics for posterity and never show them to anyone. That's also okay!


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