Well despite being buried in progress reports this weekend, I managed to maintain a decent level of panic about our ultrasound this morning. Old habits die hard.
The day didn't start out so well. I had to run and errand before the appointment, so KG and I left at slightly different times. I quickly realized I had cut it close on time with rush hour traffic, and pulled into the lot at the hospital with about 2 minutes to spare. KG didn't have as much luck with lights and shortcuts and was still stuck on the pike at that point. So, we decided I would go in without him, praying he would make it by the time they called me back. Cue additional panic. All I could picture was getting bad news, alone, on an examining table.
Luckily, it took a bit of time to get checked in, changed, and settled in the ultrasound room. Oh, and guess who had a student in the room with the ultrasound tech? I figured, so many medical professionals have seen my hoo-ha, what's one more?
I heard my phone ding with a text message as soon as I laid down. KG made it just as we were starting. This time, the ultrasound was in the main imaging center, instead of my RE's office. Biggest benefit? A screen facing the examining table, so we could watch the whole time. Score.
The tech took pity on me and showed us the heartbeat right away, so I would actually breathe. By the way, apparently it's my job to cry during ultrasounds these days. So yeah. She then did a bunch of measurements, took pix of all my female organs, and spent a generous amount of time showing us The Nugget's feet, hands, spine, and such. It just boggles my mind how teeny the baby is, and yet how much has developed in just a couple of weeks.
After, we went upstairs to meet with the RE one last time. There were many hugs and lots of congratulations. We went over all the testing, talked about my medications, and prepped for my OB visit next week. Then, we talked a bit about our frozen embryos and what to do when we were ready to use them. Before I knew it, we were wrapping up, saying goodbye, and leaving her office. On the way out, her nurse (whom I love) said, "Happy Graduation Day!"
After so many months of treatment and monitoring, it feels truly bizarre to be leaving her care. Honestly, sometimes I didn't believe that we would ever leave that office pregnant. But, it's time to fly the coop. I need to begin to see this pregnancy as a success, and not as a disaster waiting to happen. A big way to start is by seeing the regular OB, and not by being in the office that reminds me of infertility. I want to begin to assume the best, instead of bracing for the worst.
It's time to keep my promise to myself and create a shift in my thinking.
New pics are up on "The Nugget" page, for your viewing pleasure.