Welcome ICLWers. There is a lot of information about my TTC process under the "TTC Curriculum Vitae" page above, as well as the "ICLW" page. Although I am currently pregnant after 2 and a half years of trying, I still am firmly stuck in my infertile brain. Lately, I've been writing about being caught between those worlds and finding my place in this new unknown territory. Thanks so much for coming and I hope you stick around.
I did it. I took a belly shot yesterday at 12 weeks 1 day. Actually, I made KG take about 6 of them. None of them pleased me. In each, either I looked fat, my boobs looked small, it was taken at a bad angle, etc. I even tried taking one myself and it just got more and more depressing. In order to publish any of them I either need a stylist, a professional photographer, or photoshop.
To be fair, we took them at the end of a 100 degree day, after lugging and installing two window air conditioning units in our apartment, and were in generally cranky moods. Still, I can't help but wonder how to stop being so hypercritical of my body in these pictures. Old habits die hard. So, now the question, to post them or not to post them?
In other news, today I am taking myself to the beach, to escape the heat. I have spent the last 3 days firmly ensconced in Fifty Shades of Grey. I know, the writing is crappy and all, but damn. Mel has some excellent views on this book. But, damn. I lost about 8 hours to these books in the last 3 days, 2 of those spent in a Starbucks (air conditioning!), desperately wondering if it was socially acceptable to read such material in public. But, DAMN. What can I say? I was the girl who used to steal my mother's romance novels and skip to all the good parts. Some things never change. Except with Grey, you don't need to skip far. Already loaded Fifty Shades Darker on my Nook, thanks to a B and N gift card from my students. Oh, the irony.
I did the same thing this morning. After having BG take 5 photos I said forget it. I am definitely feeling more fat than pretty :)
ReplyDeleteIt will change soon though! Soon you'll have a very pregnant belly.
Old habits do die hard but no matter how it looks, try to celebrate the fact that your body is finally harboring life after all this time. I'm still so happy and inspired by you, and hoping to join the ranks of the "formerly infertile now pregnant" very, very soon!
ReplyDeleteI would like to think that once pregnant a woman is no longer fat, but infact substaining life for their new baby and she is beautiful. Of course that is easy for me to say about other's because I have the SAME complex when it comes to self image. Do whatever makes you comfortable.
ReplyDeleteYour blog has been really helpful to me lately. I'm also stuck right now. Pregnant but not believing it, expecting the worst yet trying to be positive. Thanks for everything you share.
ReplyDeleteOooooh, I just picked up my copy from the library and can't wait to start it to see what all the hype is about. I'm in the middle of another book I wanted to finish first, but maybe I should toss that aside and get started on 50 Shades :)
ReplyDeleteI keep trying to get over the bloat of my OHSS. But I have to agree with Toni's comment whole hearteldy. The writing in those books are crappy but its definitely a can't put down. I read all three in a week. Enjoy and I hope you're able to beat that summer heat.
ReplyDeleteHa, I'm reading 50 shades too. Don't know what I think so far, but I don't want to miss out on what everyone is enjoying, so I jumped on the wagon. :)
ReplyDeleteDon't stress over belly shots, they are supposed to be fun, so just take them for yourself, or crop just the hips, back and belly if you don't want to get yourself ready. I always have the hubs take about 5 (as he rolls his eyes) and choose my favorite, and always touch up my makeup and make sure I like my outfit. That's why I haven't had any for a while, The hubs is out of town and I've been putting on pj's everyday after work and on the weekends. :) I only take one if I'm dressed to go somewhere, or after work.
Haven't read it yet, but am more and more curious everyday. I cannot believe you waited until yesterday to put in your air conditioners! Holy Crap it's hot. And today is even worse! Once of these days you'll be happy with a belly shot. I was taking them on Sunday because that was officially the first day of my week, but I would that I looked better on Monday morning right before I left for work, so I switched. Although, are you off for the summer?
ReplyDeleteYou're not fat, you're pregnant!!! :) But for all the work you've put in to getting pregnant, I think you can splurge on a belly shot session with a professional photog!
ReplyDeleteAnd yowza, sounds like I need to pick up a copy of Fifty Shades of Grey.... ;)
From ICLW
Lol! I wondered the same thing while reading 50 Shades on the bus! The writing is TERRIBLE but for some reason I'm completely addicted and have found myself reading it in public places numerous times. And post those belly photos with pride knowing your amazing body is creating someone for you to adore for the rest of your life!
ReplyDelete50 Shades, like Twilight is literary crack cocaine. Once you start, you have a hard time getting off of it. I finished the trilogy in a week. It was bad. I couldn't put it down...and I'm an English Major so I should find this type of literature trite right? If it is any consolation, we have had an incredible heat wave here too and we have no A/C :(
ReplyDeleteI have the 3rd book on pdf if you want it - let me know and I can email it to you :)
I would LOVE to get the 3rd on .pdf. Please please please!
DeleteHey...I'm proud of you for taking a belly shot...even if we don't get to see it! Haven't read 50 Shades due to the fact that I'm still on pelvic rest. I've heard the book gets everyone all worked up and there's nothing I can do about it. Loving that you used a giftcard from a student to make your purchase. I once bought a couple six packs with a Target gift card from a student and felt kinda funny about it :) Happy reading!!
ReplyDeleteI'm with you on Grey...who cares if its crappy writing...DAMN!!! I read all 3 in 6 nights and am looking forward to doing it all over again this summer at the beach and maybe again in the fall haha :)
ReplyDeletePost them please! :)
ReplyDeleteAgh! I'm resisting 50 Shades until I'm out of good reading material. Don't stress about the belly shots--take them when you're ready.
ReplyDeleteI have that book on my shelf. I have been putting it off for some reason. Maybe because I don't want to tempt myself since I am too scared to do the deed myself.
ReplyDeleteAnd YES, I want to see the belly! Show us!
Congratulations on doing your first belly shots!
ReplyDelete