Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Cliche and Proud at 13 weeks

Something has shifted inside of me since Friday. KG noticed. I noticed. My mom noticed. My therapist noticed. Somehow, I've managed to turn a corner and start to fulfill my promise to myself to become 100% invested in this pregnancy. You know, that one Mel held me to. I think it was the NT scan that did it: seeing The Nugget in real time, with fingers and toes. Something inside of me clicked. There really is a baby in there and all of this could turn out okay. Suddenly, I want to tell EVERYONE and am so damn excited.

KG and I have had many discussions about how and when to tell everyone that we are expecting. Obviously we wanted to wait until after the NT Scan but I kept wavering about waiting longer than that. Once an infertile, always an infertile. I don't know how to deal with anything without going first to a place of fear. What if we tell too soon? What if I jinx it?

But here's the thing: if it is just fear holding me back, there's no real point in waiting longer. The truth is that something bad could happen with the baby at any time during this pregnancy and birth. We have passed through the first trimester, but that doesn't mean the danger is over. So, does that mean we should wait until 15 weeks? 18 weeks? 24 weeks? When is the magic time? When does the fear go away?

It doesn't.

So, we took a baby step. Over the weekend we called and emailed some good friends and announced our good news. These were folks that are important to us, but necessarily in the know about our IVF cycle. Still, we wanted them to know before we do IT.

By it I mean, you guessed it, the Bookface announcement. I know, I know. It's tacky and lame to use social media to announce such news. But honestly, it's a quick way to spread the news. And you know what? We are freaking excited to do it, cliche and all. We worked hard to get to this point, and I'm excited to be ending the first trimester. I am so beyond happy right now, and I want to share that joy. Roll your eyes if you must.

So, later tonight, the deed will be done. I'm nervous about it, because I am still a bit stuck in the superstitious frame of mind. But, maybe there will be some relief too, once it's out there.

In other news, here is a list of weird things happening to me:

1. Over the course of the last 3-4 days, BAM. Belly. Has. Popped. No sucking in possible. 13 week belly shot to come.

2. A fine layer of peach fuzz appeared all over my belly. Strange.

3. My skin is breaking out like a 13 year old.

3. I'm having some muscular pains under my belly, near my pelvic bone.

4. There is lots of random crying watching various things on TV, baby-related or not.

Anyone else in either TTC or pregnancy hormonal overload right now?

19 comments:

  1. First congratulations! This is huge. I am happy that you're happy!

    Second, um peach fuzz!? Me too! I thought I was all alone.

    Can't wait to see your next belly shot!

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  2. I'm new to your blog...first congrats on the pregnancy!!
    We announced on FB as well, and although I felt odd about doing it, I was also very happy to be able to announce pregnancy in any way possible! It's a huge milestone to reach after such a long battle...
    I have the peach fuzz on my belly and the 13 year old skin. If we both have it, we must be normal :)
    Can't wait to see the 13 week belly pic!!

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  3. I'm right there with you on the peach fuzz! What is up with that?! I've actually found that I'm a little less emotional since the start of my pregnancy. Which is funny because I'm normally extremely emotional. Who knows... things seem to change like the wind! Happy 13 weeks and good luck with the announcement! :)

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  4. Love it!!! So glad all is going well and you have turned a corner and are just loving it!!! I was damn excited to FB announce it too - I did at 12 ish weeks finally. I had waited my turn, I wanted to be as loud and proud as everyone else, hell we WORKED for this!
    I also have the peach fuzz and acne, and bawl at everything....still at 22 weeks. Enjoy it!

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  5. Oh my goodness, the random crying! Commercials, especially the ASPCA Sarah McLaughlin ones, and the preview to some movie about a dog who waited at the train station after his owner died. DH would laugh at me as I was bitching about crying.

    Glad you are feeling more excited! Enjoy telling everyone, their sister, and your neighbor's cousins brother-in-law's dog.

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  6. I'm glad you're starting to embrace this pregnancy. You are so right there is no magical right time you just have to embrace it when the time is right for you and that's different for everyone.

    As for the hormonal part. I've been feeling stretching since just before 5weeks. Lately it's napping all the time and noticing how thick my hair is getting and shedding a lot more when I deep condition.

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  7. Congrats on getting excited and invested! I wasn't brave enough to come out on facebook until after the 20 week ultrasound - but you go girl!

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  8. I don't use FB a ton, but am also excited to announce. I've been rehearsing it for ages. It'll definitely say something about "after a long wait" or something to that effect. I"m also crying at EVERYTHING. It's almost funny.

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  9. Yay!! The same thing happened to me after my NT scan. Just all of a sudden I was done with the worry (well, we all still worry, but I was just over it and ready to be excited). I am so excited for you guys that you are in that mind frame! I still haven't announced on FB, and am a little nervous once I do something will happen. I think I'm going to have my husband just do it on his since I am not an avid user anyway. Oh, gosh, I'm so excited for you for all there is to come.

    I think I learned there is no safe point in pregnancy. We'll just have to wait until that little baby is in our arms, and then we will worry still ... about everything. Such is the life of a mom.

    xoxo

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  10. well done for reaching this point and so glad you are feeling so much better. We too made our announcements at 12/13 weeks and although I still worry at times (don' we all!?), it was wonderful to spread the news. We emailed everyone in person as my hubby was not keen to announce on FB. :-) A huge congrats to you again.... ! We must be due the same week! xxx

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  12. This is all so great!!!! Such an exciting milestone!!!

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  13. I am with you on all fronts. The fear and excitment, the hormones, and the breakouts. I could have written this post except I am waiting until the 14 week mark to out myself...I think. Every time to go to tell people, it won't come out, so I guess it isn't right just yet.
    I am so happy you got to this point and can finally be excited for this baby. It's a wonderful place to be able to get to. I am almost there.

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  14. Congratulations on the good NT scan - and on "turning the corner"!
    You're completely right: since there is no real "safe point", there is no point in holding back from telling. For me, at least, telling made it more real (strangely, I'm still holding back on the FB announcement, though).

    As for the hormonal overload: yep, here. Not constantly, but often enough. The peach fuzz belly sounds familiar, too :-)

    Can't wait for your next bump pic!

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  15. Yay! Congrats! (I just followed you from the lushary)

    I announced on FB, but I think I was almost 20 weeks when I did, although the people close to me knew before that.

    I've got a layer of peach fuzz on my tummy too. I think it started around the same time. It is strange, but sort of cute. I also have 2 longer, "normal" hairs right in the middle below my belly button. Hah.

    And as for emotional overload, OH YES! It's quite funny because something totally silly can make me cry and then I start laughing because I'm crying.

    Good luck! And try to stay positive!

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  16. Love your excitement, but just blogged about hoW I'm just not there... Maybe you'll rub off on me

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  17. yay!!! good you're telling people.....
    hormonal overload is normal.... it will get better!

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  18. Girl, I love that you are excited ... Invest, invest, invest yourself. You'll never regret it! Blessings to you!

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  19. YAY for being in the second trimester and telling people! I am so happy to hear how excited you are!

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Shout it, shout it, shout it out loud!