___________________________________________
I'm injecting away over here. I had my first monitoring appointment on Monday after 3 days on stims, but nothing exciting was happening yet. I get monitored again Wednesday morning. Here's hoping my follicles are waking up a bit in there.
In case you were wondering, Menopur still sucks. Whoever made that medication was a complete masochist.
___________________________________________
I had an amazing conversation with the executive director at Resolve New England this week. We discussed opportunities to volunteer and get involved with advocacy efforts this summer, when I have more time to devote to the cause. This is really exciting for me, and I'm looking forward to it.
___________________________________________
I have been thinking about how easy it is to be hard on ourselves. My first instinct is always to look in the mirror and criticize, insult, and pick myself apart. I would never say the things I say to myself to another person. They are just too mean. What is even worse is how easy it is to fall into patterns like these, then it becomes an ongoing habit. So negative. So harsh.
I think it's time to make a more active effort to be kinder, softer, and more supportive of myself. I started today, by taking myself to the gym, and trying to be proud of myself for putting in a couple of miles on the treadmill. It may not have been a spin class as it might have been a year ago, but it was something.
___________________________________________
If you haven't yet, go over to Searching For Our Silver Lining and give Cristy a big, huge cyber hug. She experienced her second loss this week and could use some love. She is an AMAZING person, who buys the best fertility socks a girl could ask for.
_____________________________________________
Mel wrote an excellent post on validation. At the end of her post, she thanked her readers for making her feel as though her words matter. For making her feel as if she matters. She said it more eloquently than I can, but the feeling is the same.
Thank you to everyone who reads this blog, takes a moment to comment, and sends me so much support during all this madness.
I like stream of consciousness.
ReplyDeleteI'm convinced that the person who developed menopur was a man whose wife didn't need it and thus didn't dissolve into a hormonal rage at the discomfort the injection causes; if it had been otherwise you better be sure it wouldn't be such a literal pain.
Keep being good to yourself.
Oh Menopur. How I loathed that drug. I'm so happy it's being left out of my protocol this time. Wishing you all the best for your cycle!
ReplyDeleteBest of luck this cycle!!!
ReplyDeleteIt's so true... the things I say to myself I would *NEVER* say to anyone else. :( Why does it feel acceptable to treat ourselves this way?
ReplyDeleteYeah for socks!! Hoping for very good news soon regarding this cycle!! And thank you for all the love and kindness during these past few days. I'm very lucky to have found you my friend.
ReplyDeleteThose socks are AWESOME!!!
ReplyDeleteMenopur...yuck. But if it works and gets the job done, oh well. I am so proud of your strength and persistance in this and think you are doing a fabulous job of lifting yourself up. It is true that we can kick ourselves better than anyone else. I have been truly horrible to myself at times and your post is inspiring me to fess up to that abuse. Be on the look-out for a whole post about self-injurous behavior.
ReplyDeleteI will go check out Mel's post, I haven't read it yet.
Good luck my friend.
I'm so glad you are working on being kind to yourself. :) I'm starting to learn slowly, but surely.
ReplyDeleteI admire you getting involved with Resolve! I can't wait to hear what things are in store for you this summer.
I didn't know if it was the menopur or the follistim that sucked because I mixed them together, but ooooouch for sure!
Hang in there!!
I'm cheering over here about that kinder-to-yourself tributary to the stream of consciousness. It seems everywhere I turn this week I'm getting reminders about being non-judgmental. Not good, not bad, just is. And next time the criticism rises, just know you're loved!
ReplyDeletethinking of you during your cycle this month :-)
ReplyDeleteArgh! Come on, follicles! Give us an update when you can. I'm so sorry the Menopur is awful. The fertility socks are gorge.
ReplyDeleteYou're so inspiring to be pursuing advocacy!
It's hard not to hard on ourselves, isn't it? I can't wait to read more about your volunteering once you get started in the summer!
ReplyDeleteWe are so hard on ourselves. I am proud of you that you are taking steps to be better to you!
ReplyDelete