Because I still have several days to kill until I will know if this IUI was successful (sometime between Friday and Tuesday), I have been sitting around wondering how many people will announce pregnancies when I return to school tomorrow afternoon. In recent years, there has been an influx of women under 40, and with that...well you know.
One colleague's news has already leaked thorough the grapevine. I always appreciate a little advanced warning of this kind of news, so I can react privately. A year ago, that meant crying, cursing, and feeling sorry for myself. Now, it is basically limited to extreme jealousy. The kind where I bemoan how it is MY TURN and selfishly wish for myself what others seem to get with a night of drunken lust.
So, I am a betting woman. I have spent my fair share of time at blackjack tables in Las Vegas and Atlantic City. In my own humble opinion, I am going to bet on at LEAST one other preggo, probably two. This is a hedged bet because I am privy to information about the infertility and loss struggles of both people I have in mind. I'm laying my $5 on the line.
In the meantime, I am just watching the days tick by. Maybe you can help me with this: I have been debating about how I will feel about posting the results of the IUI here. If it is a BFN, it is going to sting and I might avoid talking about it until it sinks in a bit. If it is a BFP, my superstitious nature might take over. I mean, writing it down might make me miscarry, right? I might also avoid walking under ladders and black cats for a while.
Like all things TTC related, I think this is going to be a wait and see.
UGH, I know, the announcements, you want to be happy, but you need private time to grieve or fume or whatever. Also, my level of pissedness depended on HOW the person told me the news. There were some who knew what I was going through and sent me a heads-up email before the big announcement. Most points went to my friend who said, "I don't expect you to congratulate me or be happy, but I just wanted you to know before I told everyone else, and I hope it happens for you soon."
ReplyDeleteWith my BFP, I thought I'd not tell anyone for fear of jinxing, but it was my first BFP, and it was also really faint, so I ended up telling a lot of people, mostly to be like, "DOES THIS LOOK LIKE A SECOND LINE TO YOU?"