Tuesday, June 17, 2014

One among many

I've been reading many blog posts (like Cristy's) about being absent from blogs. About feeling detached from the places that we used to find so important and personal.  About being unsure about what is "okay" to post. About what would alienate those still working on becoming a mom.

This post joins many others on the same topic.

I'm struggling to reconnect and find my blogging voice again. I want very deeply to express all that has happened since December: all my thoughts on how I'm evolving as a person and as a parent, the current status of my infertility, and thoughts about the future. But, there is something that always stands in my way of posting.

When I think about how long it has been since I've blogged, I am deeply embarrassed. How could I let nearly 6 months go by? How could this place which was my saving grace for so long become so neglected?

Every time I find a few minutes to sit down and write, I am hit with some nagging negative thoughts. Have I have lost all my readers? Do I still have something important to say? Does writing about my clever, independent, funny, and stubborn toddler have a place in this blog?

I'm still following many of you who made the transition to motherhood (in whatever way worked), and many who are still in the trenches. You are doing it - you are writing in a way that acknowledges both sides of your readership. It can be done. I am just trying to convince myself that I can still be relevant to my original readers, as well as perhaps some new ones.

There is only one way for me to make my return to blogging. To start writing, and start becoming a part of the conversation on your blogs as well.

I think some revamps to my blog's design might also help the investment factor. I had a friend do the original template, but I think I need a new look. However, I was born without the pinterest gene and have no idea where to start.

So let's start with a question: do you do your own blog design? How do you get inspired? What resources do you use?


  1. Still reading. And will continue to do so (promise).

    And I hear you. I've had too many days where I sit and stare at the blinking bar on my screen. Maybe we can both inspire one another just to write it out?

    I paid someone to do my last blog design. But MissC did her's (and it's beautiful!).

  2. Still reading -- and RSS readers means that no matter how much time passes, we're all still right here.

    I haven't changed my design since I made my design years ago. But I also dislike change so I may keep it forever.

  3. Did my comment disappear?

    The magic of the rss reader means we're all right here whenever you return.

    And I said that I disliked change, hence why I still have the first design I ever used.

    I feel like it sounded better the first time I wrote it.

  4. Well hello! You know I will always read! And let me clarify, I PAID someone about $45 to design mine. I can look up who if you would like - she was through etsy I think. Blog your heart out sweetie. Good and bad!

  5. I still read! And while I miss you, I totally get the super long lapses. :)

  6. I'm here from the blog roundup. I am struggling with a similar malaise about blogging. I've started so many posts, but something stops me. It's the "nagging negative thoughts" as you said. The transition is made so much harder by the fact that one's story may hurt/infuriate a fellow IF sister. I often wonder "how can I talk about what's hard in my life right now when some of my readers are struggling with such a devastating illness and the fear of never resolving their infertility"
    I too still want to blog and want to reconnect to my blogging voice.
    I'll check in with you again as you find yours.

  7. I have just found you, but intend to keep coming back. I was on a blogging roll last year for over 200 days in a row. It was a place where I found solace, that I was able to express my feelings, yet, I too, walked away for a period of time. Writing, my therapy of sorts, almost became painful and stilted. It has been a focus to get back on the wagon...find my voice again. I will support your writing...it is valuable...it is perfect way to find yourself again!



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