Friday, August 24, 2012

My To-Do Lists have To-Do Lists

I don't know where the summer went. One minute, I was wrapping up end-of-year meetings at school, and the next I'm preparing to return on Monday. Although every summer goes quickly for me, this one really seemed jam packed. Between taking a few small trips, searching for day care, doctor's appointments, projects, tutoring, a week in Maine, and working on some curriculum material, it just flew.

Monday, I'll be back at school. Once again, I'll turn into "Mrs. HRF." It's a little known fact that teachers get just as nervous about the new school year as students do. I always get some nerves during this last week of summer, but this year I'm even more anxious. The truth is, I'm really going to have to dig deep to give my normal 100% at school this fall. Not only am I preoccupied with The Nugget but there will also be two other brand spanking new curriculum initiatives in my classroom, which puts me pretty far out of my comfort zone. After eight years of teaching, I'm having to completely change the way I teach. It's a lot to handle, knowing I'll miss 12 weeks of it. 

The best way I know to handle anxiety is to talk about it and write things down. So, this week, I made a pretty comprehensive Baby To-Do list for KG and I to tackle. Holy crap. By the end, the list is at least 20 items long, including cleaning tasks, nursery prep, appointments, phone calls, and more. Then I realized some items on the list necessitated another list, and a post-it.

What I worry about most is how there is going to be enough of me to go around. Logically, I know KG will help me get through the list of practicalities. He will help me clean out our office, move it to another room, and create a nursery. We will rent a truck and pick up the furniture we are receiving from friends and family. We will scrub this place down before the shower. The carpet will get shampooed. Somehow, by the time this baby arrives, the tedious stuff will happen, even though it feels daunting.

I'm more worried about how to accomplish all that, AND be a good teacher, good wife, good friend, and a prepared mama. Then that snowballs into worrying about how I'm going to handle training a maternity leave sub and going back to work in April, after my leave. There almost isn't room right now to be concerned with things like actual parenting and infant care!

I know a lot of my anxiety is purely the anticipation. Once I start again, I'll have to figure out how to manage it all. KG also made a good point the other day. He said I might need to learn how to be okay with not being able to do everything I did before. I'll need to learn how to say no to certain duties, admit when I'm tired, and get my work ego in check. All true.

Thank goodness, just when I'm near meltdown, The Nugget reminds me of the real priority with a kick, nudge, or push.
PSA: RESOLVE is asking for video submissions for this campaign. I am considering making one, and you should too.


  1. This time of year is hard (I'm gearing up too). It's prone for anxiety for everyone involved (teachers, parents, students), so adding on top of that being pregnant and preparing is enough to make someone pull their hair out.

    Here's a suggestion: do your post-it note to do list (btw: there's this great app on Macs called 'Stickies' that I now you'd love). Then split it into a monthly list, then a weekly list and finally a daily list. The whole point is to give yourself a few post-its to tackle in a week. Make sure their are nurturing ones too.

    Hang in there. The first couple of weeks are always the hardest.

  2. You are so ahead of the game :) You are going to do great and everything will be fine. I know how you feel though. We have been making such good progress on the baby "list" and then we had a water/leak issue in our kitchen last night. It was so upsetting b/c now I'm like am I going to have to worry about mold and getting people out here to tear it all up?! Oy.

  3. I feel you. I have been voiding almost all planning so far, but am realizing that I am halfway through this pregancy now. I have a lot to do! Training people at work to take care of my duties and organizing for baby seems very daunting.

    Let's keep in touch and share lists and ideas. I wish we all lived closer so we could help each other and even nanny share.

  4. This time of year should be the real new year's - such a time of change and transition. One step at a time. When is the baby due?

  5. Sorry I'm so behind! I bet it always feels like you are getting nowhere. Everything that needs to be done will get done. Don't worry.


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